The above picture is probably about as close as anyone got to President Bush when he passed through Redding, CA, today to view the wildfires in the Northstate (and this probably wasn’t even the aircraft he was in). I actually don’t blame him for not wanting to touch down or talk to anyone; people in Redding suck. BUT, it is a retirement community, and it is ultra Conservative. You’d think he could have dropped by ye olde Church of Christ to wow a sea of dopey soccer moms. What a dick. Is it a felony to say I would have told him to fuck DIRECTLY off? I hope not. But, seriously man, he can fuck off. Eghads, the last time a president visited anywhere near Redding, they erected a plaque commemorating the event..except it was John F. Kennedy dedicating the Dam at Whiskeytown Lake. We’ll take that one any day.

One day, back in the 1950’s, Marilyn Monroe performed fellatio on an unidentifiable man… and captured the full 15 minutes on 16 mm film!!

The footage, which shows Marilyn Monroe on her knees pleasuring a man who’s face is never shown, was discovered 10 years later by Keya Morgan, who was doing research for a documentary. J. Edgar Hoover found out about it and tried to pin it on John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy. He was un-suck-cessful (ba da bum).

The FBI confiscated the original footage - but not before an informant made a copy of it, which is what was just sold by his son, Morgan said.

“She’s smiling, she’s very charming, she’s very radiant, but she’s known for being radiant,” he said. “She moves away, and then it [the footage] stops.”

Monroe never directly looks into the camera, but she had to have known it was there as cameras in the 1950’s were noisy and bulky.

Joe DiMaggio was said to have offered $25,000 (according to declassified information), but today the film sold for $1.5 million to a wealthy New Yorker. Fortunately for Monroe, he has decided not to share it with anyone else.

“He said he’s just going to lock it up,” Morgan said.

“He said, ‘I’m not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I’m not going to sell it, out of respect.’

There are still good people in the world.