I just saw a video on CNN detailing the various emotions that the Hulk and his ex-wife are feeling about their split. A pair of “analysts” waxed on the possible repercussions of Linda Hogan dating a 19 year old, while Hulk spoke to Larry King about his feelings.

This entire fascination with the Hogan family is sick and it doesn’t make any sense at all. Hulk Hogan hasn’t been relevant in the field of wrestling for 15 years and why anybody would ever find his family’s daily life interesting is beyond me. He’s just a yahoo egomaniac with a ten cent head. Who fucking cares who Hulk Hogan dates? Who gives a shit as to whether his wife is screwing a teen? His troubled son is just another dude in jail, and as for the daughter…well, FUCK IT.

In a perfect world, the entire family would be sent to prison on charges of gross vanity.

See this guy? He likes revenge. When 17 year old Alex Phillips got pissed at his 16 year old ex-girlfriend, he decided to “vent” by publishing n00dz on his MySpace with clever captions like:

* “Yo, U see how big her hole is! Its from me!”
* “Yo tell me this bitch desurves this!! This is HLK yall”

When contacted by police investigators who asked that the pictures be taken down, his response was “Fuck that, I am keeping them up.” Classic! Well guess what that got him: A Criminal Suit in Lacrosse County Circuit Court! Get ready for the jail-bunkmate love Alex, and thanks for all the lulz!

Britain’s favorite little drug addict was at it again last night, reportedly punching Moroccan musician Mustapha el Mounmi in the face and head butting a stranger who was trying to hail her a cab…

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Defunct white-boy rapper Vanilla Ice was released from a Florida Jail today after being arrested for a domestic dispute with his wife.

The 39-year-old rap performer was arrested Thursday night at the couple’s Wellington home in South Florida. Police said his wife called 911, saying he had kicked and hit her during an argument over buying a bedroom set. She later told deputies he had only pushed her. AP

This isn’t anything new. The washed up hack, whose real name is Rob Van Winkle, had a similar incident back in 2001 when he allegedly pulled out some of his wife’s hair while driving down Interstate-595. Van Winkle sure has a knack for the bizarre and idiotic; first hair pulling like a little girly girl, and now pushing his wife after arguing over a bedroom set. This guy seriously needs some help.

Amy Winehouse’s trial date for a drug possession charge in Norway was postponed this week until further notice.

Super cool Blake Fielder-Civil (Winehouse’s husband who is also involved in the case) can’t make the trip since he’s currently sitting in a jail cell in Britain on assault and bribery related charges.

Anne Vedvik of the Bergen courthouse said Winehouse had been due to appear on Friday and “The hearing has therefore been postponed to an undetermined date.”

Winehouse was arrested at their hotel with her husband and her hairdresser in Norway last October after they were caught with marijuana in their possession. She was later released after paying a 500-euro fine. Interestingly enough, agreeing to pay a fine in Norway is the equivalent of admitting to the charges. This also makes it somewhat difficult
to obtain visas in the future - which is probably why she ran into trouble for the Grammy’s last week.

We here at Synthesis really hope she pulls herself together

So remember how cute it used to be when The Shins were totally changing people’s lives and the fugly dude from the band was dating Elyse Sewell from America’s Next Top Model and everyone totally wished they lived in Portland and had 34 cats and got to drink lattes in the rain all day and sing about 1805? Well all is not well in Spockville. Both Sewell and Shins bassist/keyboardist Martin Crandall were arrested this past weekend for Domestic Assault. From Sewell’s Livejournal:

Think you had a shitty weekend? Nah. Why not compare it to mine? 1.) On the drive home (home?) from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got shitfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz.2.) Because he had a bite mark, inflicted in self-defense, on his arm, Marty told the police to PRESS CHARGES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST ME. Now I am a felon.3.) I spent the night in jail. Dig the hilarious monetary contents of my wallet as described by the pig who booked me:4.) Jailors. America’s Next Top Model fans, all. As the warden took pics of my bloody knuckles for evidence (!!!! evidence!), he quipped, “So there goes that hand modeling job, huh? What’s Tyra going to say about this?” And here is how I was summoned from the holding cell for a strip-search, complete with a thorough plumbing of the boodissy: “Hey, Supermodel! Git over here!”4.) A bail bondsman (!!! I have a bail bondsman!) got me out of the hoosegow this morning and took me to a hotel room where I now await my court date. Martin Lesley Crandall is still incarcerated. You can follow his saga by searching for his name on sacsheriff.com (inmate information).So I’m stuck in Sac-town, alone and lonely, for 4-5 days until court. Court! OMFG.On the flip side, I’m single and um, ready to mingle. Blind date, anyone?

They will both be in Sacramento courtroom tomorrow to face the music. Who wants to go?