So remember yesterday, when everyone was freaking out like always about IRAN’S GONNA BLOW UP ISRAEL WITH ALL THEIR NUCLEAR MISSILES OMGGG?

Well apparently no one really bothered to look at the shitty photoshop job on their front page photos. And it’s not like its the first time either.

Israel declined to offer former US President Jimmy Carter security help during his visit to the country. Carter’s planned meeting with Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal in Syria… and calling Israel’s policies in occupied Palestine “a system of apartheid” in a 2006 book probably didn’t help matters either.

“They’re not getting support from local security,” one of the sources said, on condition of anonymity.

An Israeli security source said the Shin Bet security service provided no protection to Carter during his visit to the Jewish state because no request was made.

Asked about the Israeli account, Carter’s delegation, which had previously declined to comment, told Reuters in a statement: “The Carter delegation inquired with both the lead agent of the Secret Service detail (protecting Carter) and the State Department Regional Security Officer and were told unequivocally that an official request for assistance had been made.”

American sources close to the matter said the Shin Bet, which helps protect visiting dignitaries and is overseen by Prime Minister Ehud Olmert’s office, declined to meet the head of Carter’s Secret Service detail or provide his team with assistance as is customary during such visits.

Carter said he hoped his meeting with Hamas would help “gauge the group’s willingness to accept Arab peace overtures.” Carter shouldn’t be too concerned, though. There’s always Secret Service Cat.

Luanda, Angola — The 27-year-long Angola civil war has been over for six years but the number of civilian victims continues to rise. Tens of thousands have been injured or maimed by landmine explosions, leaving the population shattered and ravaged by a war whose fallout has yet to meet its half-life.

In an effort to restore dignity and confidence to its civilian population, the de-mining commission of Angola is hosting a Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant, with eight women, one from each province, each maimed by a landmine, competing and simultaneously becoming the public faces for their own cause. Its intent is to boost the self-esteem of landmine survivors, and to show the beauty in strength and determination, and truly, the “beauty in all people.” The pageant will be held on April 2nd in Luanda, Angola.

Following the pageant, the First International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action will be held on April 4th. For further information on the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, please right-click here.

Millions of un-detonated mines litter the southwestern African nation. While it costs roughly $5 to manufacture a landmine, it takes nearly $1,000 to safely dismantle one.

Voting for the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant is to be held online. You can VOTE for who you would like to see win. Me, I’m voting for Miss Cubango. Right now she’s in 2nd place. Check out her stats:

Miss Cuando Cubango
Generosa Cassinda

Age: 30
City: Menongue
Mine accident: 1989
Kids: 2 (10,8)
Occupation: Street vendor
Dream job: Economist
Favourite color: White

Clothes: American Apparel, € 36
Jewellery: Myffdesign, € 15
Location: Fortaleza São Miguel, Luanda

Mine: NO-4 anti-personnel
Release: pressure
Explosive: 188 g TNT
Produced by: Israel

Daaaamn….

This blog is nice and heartfelt. Here’s where I fuck things up.

I’m sorry, I know that it’s wrong to reference things like amputee porn in a blog about such a moving, good-hearted and humanitarian event like the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant. But really, there are few rewarding job opportunities for people missing their limbs, and life is tough as it is. I’m pretty sure that in America, you can’t even get a meatpacking job if you’ve lost your hand (unless you lost your hand at a prior meatpacking job, then I think they’ll “hook you up.” Ouch.). And let’s face it, these women are gorgeous and legless, and I am pretty sure there’s a market for that. Actually, I’ve seen the aisle at the ‘specialty video store,” I’m sure there’s a market for it. Oh please one-leggy lady, won’t you ampu-tease me.

Yes, I know you think I’m going to hell.

We’re not going to get into the history of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. But targeting students is not cool. Eight killed, nine wounded in a West Jerusalem school by a Palestinian gunman.

Hamas’ tactics will never result in the Palestinian people getting their parents’ land back. Never. Post-Diaspora Jews Do Not Fucking Back Down. Hamas’ tactics will only cause Israel to fight back harder, causing the death of more Palestinian civilians. And the cycle of violence continues and continues and continues, generation after generation.

Palestinians need their own MLKjr. So do the Israelis.