With their recent pwning of Georgia, the Russian bear has awakened from a two-decade hibernation to rattle its sabers at the United States, threating to go “beyond diplomacy” in response to the recent US-Polish agreement on building a strategic missile shield in Poland’s, just 115 miles from Russian soil:

Russia says its response to the further development of a U.S. missile shield in Poland will go beyond diplomacy.Russia’s Foreign Ministry issued a statement saying the U.S. missile shield plans are clearly aimed at weakening Russia.

The U.S. says the missile defense system is aimed at protecting the U.S. and Europe from future attacks from states like Iran.

So as it stands today, the teams for World War III are looking like the United States, Israel and Europe, or at least the parts of it that are stupid enough to not be neutral, vs Russia, Iran, Venezuela, North Korea, Cuba and most of the rest of the middle east. WHO’S GONNA WIN? Maybe China will come in at the last minute and blow up fucking EVERYBODY and just take over the world like they did the Olympics. STAY TUNED!

All of it. Iran’s missiles? not just photoshopped, but made up. Jesse Jackson’s “hot mic”? Not really such an accident. Amazon lost tribe? Nope. Phones popping popcorn? Nope. You don’t even need conspiracy theories to explain shit anymore, it’s all just viral marketing, manipulative memetics, or just lazy idiocy. This is my face when I read the news:

So remember yesterday, when everyone was freaking out like always about IRAN’S GONNA BLOW UP ISRAEL WITH ALL THEIR NUCLEAR MISSILES OMGGG?

Well apparently no one really bothered to look at the shitty photoshop job on their front page photos. And it’s not like its the first time either.

I realize Rush limbaugh will say anything to keep people like me irritated enough to blog about it. But does he even live on this Planet anymore?. In his failing effort to link the Democratic party with terrorism and fascism, Rush has discovered that the Democrats are using talking points from Iran and Osama bin Laden. This of course using his is journalism skills and his fact finding team (uhh..) Oh Rush, I just want to rub your belly.

Rush Limbaugh claimed that “the Islamofascists are actually campaigning for the election of Democrats” and that “Islamofascists from [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad to [Ayman] al-Zawahiri … Osama bin Laden, whoever, are constantly issuing Democrat talking points.” Limbaugh previously asserted that Ahmadinejad’s May 2006 letter to President Bush contained “Democratic talking points.”

During a recent campaign speech in Florida, John McCain warned the crowd “I’m sorry to tell you, there’s going to be other wars. We will never surrender but there will be other wars.” How’s that for optimism? According to political pundit and former Republican Presidential candidate Pat Buchanan, a vote for McCain is basically a vote for war with Iran.

“You get John McCain in the White House, and I do believe we will be at war with Iran. There’s no doubt John McCain is going to be a war president. … His whole career is wrapped up in the military, national security. He’s in Putin’s face, he’s threatening the Iranians, we’re going to be in Iraq a hundred years.”

Buchanan’s not exaggerating about Iraq either. John McCain actually said he’s fine with that too:

He later clarifyied that troops could be there ‘thousand years’ or ‘a million years,’ for all he cares. Talk about legacy.

To make matter worse, John McCain is a certified Myspace STEALER:

John McCain’s people commandeered my world-renowned MySpace design template and did a few things wrong:

They did not credit me for the template, even though the template explicitly requested credit.

They used my own unmodified imagery, specifically for the “Contacting John McCain” table.

As if #2 wasn’t bad enough, the McCain crew is actually pulling their image directly from my server on each page load. So every time someone visits the McCain MySpace page, my bandwidth is being used to deliver part of the page! Bad McCain!

Luckily this led directly to lulz:

The McCain campaign of course immediately swung into action, dispatching their obviously crack squad of 1337 Myspace page cr34t0r5 to solve the problem. Or not.

So anyways, if you want a president who loves war, thinks the internet is a series of tubes, and looks like the emperor from Star Wars, VOTE MCCAIN ‘08!!111

Chris De Burgh,world-renown for his heartfelt, milquetoast ballads including Lady in Red and…all those other hits…may be the first western singer to perform in Iran since the 1979 revolution.

Yeah, Iran. You know, Iran.

From the BBC:

Last month, the [Iranian] government announced a campaign against rap music, which it considers obscene.
But De Burgh, known for soft rock ballads like Don’t Pay The Ferryman, seems unlikely to raise the ire of the ministry for culture and Islamic guidance.

According to the report, de Burgh’s lyrics have been translated and turned into a popular book of poetry in Iran, and his cassettes and CDs are still in wide circulation. While western music is pretty much forbotten over there, Chris de Burgh gets a pass because his music is seen as ‘revolutionary.’ For the concert, de Burgh will be playing with the Iranian pop group Arian, purportedly the first band in Iran to have both male and female singers performing together. (Yes, Iran’s really breaking their stride here.) The two camps have recently recorded a song titled “A Melody for Peace,” which according to Arian’s manager Mohsen Rajabpour, was intended “to reflect the peace-seeking spirit of the Iranian people to the world”. This comes hot on the heels of the news that Russia is sending uranium to Iran, on the promise that they “get it back afterwards.”

Okay, so to recap, Iranian seeks peace, Chris De Burgh’s music is revolutionary, oh and Russia just sent uranium to Iran. Have a good Monday.