WRONG!!!

Note: When you send a company promotional condoms to give away, try not to staple your information right through the center.

Last night has made me this, today:

ROCK!!!!

A completely wasted Andy Dick attempted to check into the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas this weekend. He was sloppy to say the least and his clothes were all wet. Dick started a scene in the hotel lobby when he brought his pit bull with him who bit a hotel guest. The Hard Rock kicked him to the curb after the incident but he probably doesn’t remember. This isn’t the first time he has been asked to leave somewhere. He recently wasn’t let into the Skybar and threw a fit and attempted to sneak in. He’s a mess. Should he be added to Dr. Drew’s list of celebrity rehab-ers??

For all those awaiting Ashlee Simpson’s summer tour starting on June 9th, it seems as though your hearts may be broken. Citing the following reasons under “The Dog Ate My Tour” on her website, the coming tour will be canceled. And I quote…

1. jury duty (but you can get out of jury duty once)
2. creative differences (but I’m a solo artist so that didn’t make sense)
3. not in the mood/have a headache (wait, that was an excuse for Pete! and it didn’t work. See next reason)
4. the baby

It must be a nice luxury to cancel a tour at the drop of a hat. I’m sure it would have been a real taxing grind to sit on a luxurious tour bus all day for a month straight. Never mind the legions of moms-to-be that work 40 hours a week up until the week before they give birth. Simpson leads a tough life.

I think Harley Davidson’s are great bikes, unfortunately some of the drivers of them are about as useless as an inverted penis. This fuck stick is an example of an expanding culture of doucheness. For his final act he will drink gasoline while firing his shotgun at the nearest bystander.