Remember that crazy rogue satellite that was threatening to fall back to earth and cause all sorts of lulz by spreading ultra-toxic hydrazine rocket fuel over populated areas? And remember that time the US Navy shot it down with a missile, as seen in the video above, allowing every one to live happily ever after in absolute safety from falling space junk? Well apparently, it’s not quite that cut and dry:

Last week’s Pentagon operation to bring down a falling spy satellite may have been widely termed a “shootdown” of precision accuracy — but the reality is more complex, and much messier.

The article goes on to explain “5 myths” surrounding the Satellite “shootdown,” the first of which is the idea that the satellite was shot down in the first place:

Myth No. 1: The Navy missile shot down the satellite.

Reality: Hitting a satellite with a missile is not at all like hitting a bird with a bullet and watching it plummet to the ground. An orbiting satellite stays in orbit not because of its power or guidance, but merely because of its forward speed. An attack that does not substantially change that orbital velocity cannot drive the satellite out of orbit, no matter how much physical damage it does.

The only practical way to remove such targets from orbit is by slowing them down. In practice, that occurs as a result of air drag, an effect that can take hours, weeks, or centuries depending on the thickness of the air at the satellite’s altitude. Breaking a big spacecraft into smaller pieces does increase the effects of air drag — as demonstrated dramatically last week — but it is the key role of air drag that makes the critical causal link between “shooting” and “downing” the target.

Worth checking out if, like me, you’re at all concerned about shit falling out of the sky on your fucking head.

According to the highly reputable Vice Admiral Unnamed Official the US Navy has chosen this Thursday, February 20th as the day to shoot down a faulty spy satellite whose impending fall back to earth has guaranteed many lulz in the form of dispensing “potentially deadly fumes over an area the size of two football fields”:

The Navy plans to fire at the satellite as it enters Earth’s atmosphere at an altitude of about 150 miles. Officials want the missile to hit the edge of the atmosphere to ensure debris re-enters and burns up quickly.The option of striking the satellite with a missile launched from an Aegis cruiser was decided upon by President Bush after consultation with several government and military officials and aerospace experts, said Deputy National Security Adviser James Jeffrey. NASA Administrator Michael Griffin said there’s nothing the military can do to make the outcome worse. “If we miss, nothing changes. If we shoot and barely touch it, the satellite is just barely in orbit” and would still burn up somewhat in the atmosphere, Griffin said.   

The source also added that the mission is being carried out so early - the satellite is not set to come down on its own until March - because “the idea is to leave as much time as possible so a second attempt could be made if necessary.” Is it just me or do they not sound too confident about this little mission being a slam dunk? On the bright side it’s only gonna cost us around $60 million, which is about the cost of one day of the Iraq war, or free college educations for thousands of inner-city children who will now probably end up drug addicts or derelicts with no chance of making it. But hey, at least we all won’t be sipping on hydrazine. Hopefully.