Howard Stern’s newest business: Auctioning a 22-year-old girl’s virginity! Going by the name Natalie Dylan for safety precautions, this girl is willing to auction her virginity on Sirius radio to pay for her college tuition. She has agreed to take a polygraph test and a gynecological exam to prove she is in fact a virgin.

I really have doubts about this after reading that the owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, Nevada’s legal brothel, introduced her to Stern and is hosting the auction. Supposedly she knows Dennis Hof from the Bunny Ranch because her sister works there.

Her stepfather took out student loans in her name and she is unable to pay for her education at Sacramento State University. She is doing this to empower women around the world. Start yer bidding!

It’s been a tough morning for me ever since Howard Stern announced Playboy Playmate Shawn Carla Hektor as Miss Howard TV August 2008. Oh! The trials that have come to pass since then.

I’ve had to search for pictures of her ALL MORNING. Let me tell you - it’s tough to find a shot without her boobs exposed. Today’s gonna be just ruined for me! Gha!

Google trends.  What woudl I do without you?

Danny Bonaduce will be fighting in the ring. His life is such a trainwreck already. Hopefully he’ll be drunk or on drugs or both! At least it would up the entertainment value.

Bonaduce was BITCH SLAPPED (see below) a few months ago by Reverend Bob Levy, a Howard Stern regular. He now wants to settle the dispute once and for all. Levy accepted Bonaduce’s request for a challenging fight in the ring. The event will take place on September 13th in Atlantic City. This better be all over YouTube!

Dolly Parton is apparently not too thrilled about being the subject of one of Howard Stern’s trademark audio book remixes:

Country legend Dolly Parton isn’t flattered by a recent Howard Stern parody, in which the satellite radio host mashed up Parton quotes to make it sound as if the singer were spewing offensive and racist remarks. In a post on her official website, Parton is quoted as saying she has “never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated” in her life, and even hints and at potentially suing the shock jock.

Check out the clip in question below. I think it’s funnier than shit, but I’m also a fucking asshole.