Last night I was drinking with some buddies. A friend that recently took a plane to LA and back told me how not only did he accidentally fly with a lighter that the security overlooked, but while waiting for his plane he met a young woman that used to work for a popular airline. She told him that if anyone of the low level employees wanted to, they could get away with something really destructive due to the lack of security and monitoring of the workers. Pretty comforting, huh?

Well, searching around the rants and raves section of Craigslist today, I saw Homeland Security’s new business plan for weeding out terrorists. This has got to be their best work yet, and I really commend them for thinking outside the box.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY!

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity. God bless America!

It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don’t send this to at least 5 people you’re a terrorist sympathizing lily-livered coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat!

I’m not a lily-livered coward, so I will be doing my part in this great movement forward. God bless America.

(from www.rushisaband.com)

When I was stuck in Olympia WA last week, the saving grace of our stay was our gracious host Kirk Leonnard and his girlfriend Amy, and their guest room devoted to their Xbox 360, and more specifically, Rock Band. It was there that Kirty South and I found solace, singing and plucking our depression away to the likes of the Beastie Boys, The Marshall Tucker Band and Black Sabbath. We also discussed woman-repellent music including Canadian arena rock champions, Rush. Oh! If only we had access to the tracks that will be made available tomorrow. We would have driven poor Amy completely bonkers.

From B|W|R Public Relations:

Harmonix and MTV Games announced today additional Rush tracks will be available at the Rock Band™ Music Store catalog of downloadable content. On July 8th, air drummers and guitarists will rejoice when direct from the Rush Masters Vault the exclusive Rock Band versions of “Closer To The Heart” and “Working Man (Vault Edition)” (featuring never released alternative guitar solo) are made available for $1.99 per track (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE® Marketplace for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft). Rush now have 5 songs available for Rock Band including cover versions of “Tom Sawyer,” “Limelight” and “Working Man,” almost a full-set by prog rock standards!

Also available are two amazing tracks from six-time Grammy® winning, multi-platinum funk rockers Red Hot Chili Peppers. “Snow ((Hey Oh))” and “Tell Me Baby” from their critically acclaimed ninth studio double album Stadium Arcadium will be available for $1.99 per track (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE Marketplace).

Release date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008 (Xbox LIVE Marketplace)
Thursday, July 10, 2008 (PLAYSTATION®Store)

Tracks:
From the RUSH Masters Vault:
“Closer To The Heart”
” Man (Vault Edition)”

Hot Chili Peppers
” ((Hey Oh))”
“Tell Me Baby”

(All tracks utilize the original master recordings)

Price: 1.99 (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE Marketplace) per track
Locations: LIVE Marketplace and PLAYSTATION®Network

** Dates for Rock Band game tracks are tentative and subject to change **

The most difficult bog I’ve ever had to ‘write.”

More “journalism” after the jump. (it gets better) (more…)

She must of had some work done.

Oh… the Eastern Block.
As if we needed any further proof that Serbian chicks are hot but they’re actually kinda hotter when they’re looting. This video popped up on YouTube one day ago and is already pushing 500,000 views. We can only hope the videographer will add more gems such as what you’ll see here. I’m sure we’ll see these two lovely ladies again in an upcoming amateur porn film on an internets near you

Myself, I wasn’t entirely thrilled with Daphne Loves Derby’s Good Night, Witness Light, but about a hundred thousand 17 year old Asian scene kids who used to have mad rad hair accounts are THRILLED.

Like, OMG! Their PureVolume Page. Joining Daphne Loves Derby will be This Providence, The Higher and The Reign of Kindo. I’m kind of feeling This Providence, though.

After writing that I decided to track down my DLD album just to remind myself why they aren’t my favorite band. Diet punk for the sensitive and misunderstood. Now I need to listen to some brutal metal to cleanse my palette. fuuuuuuuuuu……..

Oct 20 2007 6:00PM
Beat Kitchen w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Chicago, Illinois

Oct 21 2007
6:00P
Varsity Theater w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Oct 23 2007
6:00P
Mac’s Bar w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Lansing, Michigan

Oct 24 2007
6:00P
Agora Ballroom w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Cleveland, Ohio

Oct 25 2007
6:00P
Xtreme Wheels w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Buffalo, New York

Oct 26 2007
6:30P
School Of Rock w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
South Hackensack, New Jersey

Oct 27 2007
6:00P
The Harmony Grange w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign Of Kindo
Wilmington, Delaware

Oct 28 2007
2:30P
Trocadero - EARLY SHOW w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign Of Kindo
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Oct 29 2007
7:00P
Living Room w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Providence, Rhode Island

Oct 30 2007
6:30P
Webster Theatre w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
Hartford, Connecticut

Nov 1 2007
7:00P
The Knitting Factory w/ This Providence, The Higher, Reign of Kindo
New York, New York

Nov 2 2007
5:30P
Club Relevant w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Nov 3 2007
5:30P
The Brewery w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Raleigh, North Carolina

Nov 5 2007
6:00P
The Masquerade w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Atlanta, Georgia

Nov 6 2007
7:00P
The Orpheum w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Tampa, Florida

Nov 7 2007
6:00P
AKA Lounge w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Orlando, Florida

Nov 9 2007
7:00P
Javajazz w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Houston, Texas

Nov 10 2007
6:00P
Rock Bottom Bar w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
San Antonio, Texas

Nov 11 2007
6:30P
The Door w/ This Providence, The Higher, The Reign of Kindo
Dallas, Texas