These days, the term “homeless” has become something of a misnomer, used to describe basically anyone fucked up enough to spend most of their days out in public bothering people. However, the majority of tax-payer funded relief programs targeting these “homeless” take the term quite literally, funneling millions of dollars into housing and shelters that become nothing more than safe havens for bums to come down off meth or sleep off their Mad Dog hangovers. The epicenter for this sort of bureacratic idiocy has long been San Francisco, who today announced, that BY GOLLY! MAYBE ALL THOSE HOMELESS PEOPLE AREN’T SO HOMELESS AFTER ALL!!!:

The mayor and others are now admitting what the grand jury reported - that a majority of those on the streets are not homeless. The head of the city’s homeless program, Dariush Kayhan, estimates that 50 to 75 percent of street people live in supportive housing.

“We just warehouse addicts,” said the grand jury’s Stuart Smith. “Granted, it is a nicer place for them, but it doesn’t address the problem.”

In short, the jury is reflecting the views of many San Franciscans who made the choice to live here. They understood that housing and taxes would be higher, and so would the cost of a meal in a restaurant. They understand and believe that the city needs to provide for its poorest homeless residents and don’t begrudge what the grand jury says is $186 million a year in city funds spent to finance homeless programs.

But, they ask, can’t someone stop the panhandling? And, given all the programs and services, is it unreasonable to ask those who are being given supportive housing to start making some effort to be self-sufficient?

“People’s conduct has to be held to account,” Supervisor Bevan Dufty said. “They can’t engage in conduct that is hurtful to them or others.”

ACCOUNTABLE?? You mean they should try to not be complete, abject fucktards? WHERES THE COMPASSION IN THAT??????????????!111/1/1/1

Why ‘Reka?: Nine times out of 10, when you tell someone you’re going to Eureka (hopefully, you’ll never have to say “I’m going to Eureka” more than 10 times in your life) they figure you’re probably talking Yreka, the humble piss-stop town off of I-5 North on the way to Oregon. But true scions of Northern California know that Eureka with a “eu” is a very, very different place than Yreka. The word Eureka is greek for “I have found it,” but a lot’s changed since the time someone was excited to find Eureka. The gold that gave it it’s name ran out a long time ago, and the other two rape-able natural resources that have kept Eureka from becoming a complete waste of time and space, timber and fish, are both quickly heading that way too. In fact the only things that Eureka seems to have in abundance these days is weed and crazy ass homeless people, and not necessarily in that order. (more…)

Wasn’t this a Mr. Show sketch?

From The Alligator:

Gainesville homeless soccer team has trouble recruiting players
By CHRISTOPHER MYERS, Alligator Writer
The soccer cleats are new, and the uniforms are clean.
But no homeless people have volunteered to wear them.
Anthony Lyons, manager of the Gainesville Community Redevelopment Agency, has been trying to start a local homeless soccer program since early fall 2007.
However, Lyons is facing a major problem: getting local homeless people to participate.
“I first wanted to take the approach that I needed uniforms, socks, shoes, a place to play and a soccer ball,” Lyons said.
“Things of that sort were all things I was able to accomplish, and the last piece was getting the actual players. I actually thought that would be the easiest thing, and it’s turned out to be the hardest thing.”
Lyons has worked on this project in his spare time without any help from the city.
He said the soccer program is a nontraditional way to get the homeless feeling healthier and more confident.
“It brings people together,” he said. “It has people working as a team. It gives them a place to go on a regular basis, and it will allow them to travel around the country or, frankly, around the world.”
Lyons has worked on the project with the help of the Homeless World Cup, an annual international soccer tournament featuring more than 60 participating nations.

(more…)