[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark for our 6/16 issue. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Missing Harry

Remember last summer when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out and you spent 36 hours reading it cover to cover? Well maybe that was just me, but I remember it fondly. And I’ll be honest that I’m a bit depressed this summer. I’m sitting on my couch and the weather is lovely and my living room is clean and I wish I had a big fat fantasy book here to share it with. But alas, Harry Potter’s story is over, for now at least. There is, however, plenty of Potter related news and things to comfort yourself with, if you’re so inclined.

Wizard People, Dear Reader: Many of you are probably familiar with Brad Neely’s viral video “Cox & Combes’ George Washington,” which tells the fantastical story of George Washington in song form. But Neely is also responsible for the most entertaining two hours I’ve spent in years. “Wizard People, Dear Reader” is an audio narration for the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. You sync up the audio, which you can download online, with the DVD of the movie and then you prepare to laugh so hard that your cheeks hurt.

Neely provides a pointedly loose version of the events going on onscreen, verging from changing the names of virtually all of the characters to killing and resurrecting Hermione in a particularly touching scene. Not only is Neely one of the funniest people in existence, but I’m pretty sure he’s created a new form of art. Do yourself a favor and download the audio, rent the DVD, invite some friends over and watch this. You will most certainly not be disappointed.

After the jump, J.K. Rowling sues her fans, and commencement address at Harvard.
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Yes, it’s true. The venerable What Would Tyler Durden Do has posted 8 upskirt photos of Emma Watson, aka Hermione from the Harry Potter movies. That sound you hear is 3453429485 /b/-tards throwing a batch all over their computer screens. In other news, doesn’t Emma Watson know that if you’re gonna show your box on the internet you should shave first? Just ask Vannessa Hudgens.