After David Letterman totally bashed Spencer Pratt I thought and hoped that maybe Spencer and Heidi would go away for awhile. A LONG while. But my dreams were crushed when Heidiwood, her new clothing line came out. I mean really? Who would want to look like that girl after her romp on the beach in that terrible music video, the skimpy bikini and the bad boob job? Heidiwood is an Anchor Blue line sold at Wet Seal. It’s pretty boring and cheap looking if you ask me and has some hideous animal prints. Bad designs all around. Who does she think she is, Lauren Conrad? Maybe she should actually go to fashion school and not just use her crappy “celebrity” status. At least she has one fan! .. Spencer Pratt the douche-iest man in Hollywood!

P.S. Your boyfriend is a MAJOR tool.

Here’s an example of Heidiwood. Hookers get fitted!

This is the final straw for Heidi Montag. The girl doesn’t even have a proper website, yet she’s all gung-ho about a singing career and now a fricken clothing line, which I’m sure she launched just to be a bitch to L.C. It comes as no surprise that her line is full of FAIL. It features a paper-thin tank tops that are too short, some shiny black hot pants with a 1 inch inseam, flimsy t-shirts with a dated and unoriginal looking logo of a heart with wings. I swear, if I see anyone rocking this gear, I’m going to weep out of pity for their soul.

This just goes to show, life’s not fair. Even no-talent assclown cyborgs with big tatas can get paid. That’s it. I’m going to get a boob job. Wanna invest in my breasts? I hereby promise to only do smart things with them.

From thinkfashion.com:

There’s just one problem. The clothes are terrible. Heidi’s line is a combo of trashed-up stripperwear and beachy-blah t’s and minis – a strange mix, but nothing we don’t see every Saturday when we hit the Old Navy then follow up with a lap dance at the local strip bar.

From New York Mag’s Fug Girls (who are hilarious, btw and you should really read the whole thing for some quality worktime chuckles):

This is the worst fashion line in the history of fashion lines… No self-respecting grown woman should allow herself to be seen in these garments.

Luckily, it’s possible no one else is interested. Not only were we alone in visiting Heidiwood, we were the sole shoppers at that Anchor Blue, period, exposing us to the naked curiosity of the employees. “Are you a … fan of Heidi?” one of them asked. We murmured something unintelligible, much like the previous day when we called to confirm the clothes’ arrival and the store clerk said, “Are you … um … interested in the Heidi Montag stuff?” He might as well have enquired, “Are you eating glass?” But the store’s emptiness ultimately saved us — with customers nearby, we’d have lacked the guts to open the dressing-room doors.

If you find a *good* review of this clothing line, please post a link in the comments.