This has to be one of the worst songs imaginable.  It’s pretty much a completely auto-tuned vocal line with no dynamics and a horrible, non-changing dance beat… sounds sweet huh?

Lucky for us, she has really kicked up her artistic side and made a 10 minute long video for it, feat. her in 80’s garb doing a Richard Simmons routine. Oh, just for the heads up: the last 5 minutes there’s no sound. I’m assuming that this was a conscience decision from the record label, knowing that no one want’s to hear her shitty voice.

After David Letterman totally bashed Spencer Pratt I thought and hoped that maybe Spencer and Heidi would go away for awhile. A LONG while. But my dreams were crushed when Heidiwood, her new clothing line came out. I mean really? Who would want to look like that girl after her romp on the beach in that terrible music video, the skimpy bikini and the bad boob job? Heidiwood is an Anchor Blue line sold at Wet Seal. It’s pretty boring and cheap looking if you ask me and has some hideous animal prints. Bad designs all around. Who does she think she is, Lauren Conrad? Maybe she should actually go to fashion school and not just use her crappy “celebrity” status. At least she has one fan! .. Spencer Pratt the douche-iest man in Hollywood!

P.S. Your boyfriend is a MAJOR tool.

Here’s an example of Heidiwood. Hookers get fitted!

Yesterday I posed something on Spencer Pratt getting PWND by David Letterman.  Well, while doing follow up research (looking for naked pics of Heidi Montag), I found that the website Radar Online mistakenly gave him his own advice column.  This shit is priceless, especially when you know how much of a pompus ass he is beforehand.

Question:  Spencer, how do you deal with weak people and haters?

Answer:

With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don’t need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people. Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don’t hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I’m like, “Thanks, I get it, I’m an idiot,” and they’re like, “Woo! He’s an idiot! He’s so cool!” I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night.

Spencer Pratt: flippin haters at Benihanas since last night.  Word.

I hate Spencer Pratt. Almost everything about this douche annoys me in some way. Don’t get me wrong, people making cash for doing absolutely nothing hold a special place in my heart, because they managed to manipulate millions of people into thinking they have social status.

When it comes to arrogant pieces of shit like this, just be glad we have David Letterman. Watch as he completely pwns Spencer throughout the entire video.

This is the final straw for Heidi Montag. The girl doesn’t even have a proper website, yet she’s all gung-ho about a singing career and now a fricken clothing line, which I’m sure she launched just to be a bitch to L.C. It comes as no surprise that her line is full of FAIL. It features a paper-thin tank tops that are too short, some shiny black hot pants with a 1 inch inseam, flimsy t-shirts with a dated and unoriginal looking logo of a heart with wings. I swear, if I see anyone rocking this gear, I’m going to weep out of pity for their soul.

This just goes to show, life’s not fair. Even no-talent assclown cyborgs with big tatas can get paid. That’s it. I’m going to get a boob job. Wanna invest in my breasts? I hereby promise to only do smart things with them.

From thinkfashion.com:

There’s just one problem. The clothes are terrible. Heidi’s line is a combo of trashed-up stripperwear and beachy-blah t’s and minis – a strange mix, but nothing we don’t see every Saturday when we hit the Old Navy then follow up with a lap dance at the local strip bar.

From New York Mag’s Fug Girls (who are hilarious, btw and you should really read the whole thing for some quality worktime chuckles):

This is the worst fashion line in the history of fashion lines… No self-respecting grown woman should allow herself to be seen in these garments.

Luckily, it’s possible no one else is interested. Not only were we alone in visiting Heidiwood, we were the sole shoppers at that Anchor Blue, period, exposing us to the naked curiosity of the employees. “Are you a … fan of Heidi?” one of them asked. We murmured something unintelligible, much like the previous day when we called to confirm the clothes’ arrival and the store clerk said, “Are you … um … interested in the Heidi Montag stuff?” He might as well have enquired, “Are you eating glass?” But the store’s emptiness ultimately saved us — with customers nearby, we’d have lacked the guts to open the dressing-room doors.

If you find a *good* review of this clothing line, please post a link in the comments.

Heidi Montag was on TRL yesterday with Nelly and some dude that was sitting on his couch with a hand held camera decided to tape it. The quality isn’t great (cinematography wise) but the content is simply amazing. Our favorite Hills character Montag attempted to freestyle and it truly shows the depth of just how bad she actually sucks. Plus, I have a theory that she was actually created in a lab and is an no talent assclown cyborg from the future.