The title of this post was originally going to be “In My Room, Furiously Beating Off Until I Cum Blood” but I figured Bill might get pissed off at that one and stop paying me….But really, that’s exactly how stoked I am at the announcement of these upcoming tours.

Seriously, if you claim to appreciate heavy music you must attend one of these shows. (Actually, I can’t personally attest to Man Man’s heaviness, but they sound kinda vaudeville/old-timey, and that’s pretty rad too).

RAD TOURS ALERT:

Big Business w/ The Melvins: September 16th - October 22nd

Jesu w/ Torch: October 18th - October 30th

Man Man: September 16th - October 19th

I will be doing nothing but pushups and curls until these shows, then smoke all sorts of opium right before the shows and be THAT GUY. Look out for me. I mean it. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Tour Dates after the jump: (more…)