I’m a Giants fan, so I naturally hate the Dodgers. And even though the Giants are the current owners of the worst contract in all of sports (see Barry Zito’s $136,000,000 fiasco) the Dodgers don’t have a lot of room to laugh. This off-season they signed Andruw Jones to a 2 year, 36 million dollar contract to patrol center field and to add some power to their impotent offense. It was a risky signing to start with, considering the fact that he only hit .222 last year with 26 home runs (which is tied for his lowest total since he started playing full time) last year and he was healthy. The market was totally dry for him because he had a terrible 07′ and he turned in to kind of a fat ass, and the only reason he signed with the Dodgers in the first place is because they were literally the ONLY team that were willing to offer him a two year deal worth a shit (everybody else was either offering one year for big money, or several years for shit money). So the fact that he is not only having an even worse year this year (he’s batting .165 with TWO home runs and only SEVEN rbi’s in 43 games!!!!! WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!), but he is now on the shelf for 4 to 6 weeks after having knee surgery earlier today makes me laugh until I piss down my own leg.
The Dodgers also signed away the Giants best pitcher, Jason Schmidt, before the 07′ season giving the then 33 year old with a declining fast ball a 3 year, 47 million dollar deal that most people thought was a pretty big risk at the time as well. He almost immediately blew out his shoulder (which was no surprise to any giants fan that watched him pitch through the 06′ season) and in two years has pitched in all of 6 games, amassing a 1 - 4 record with a 6.31 era.
The team is currently hovering around .500 with a 26 - 24 record coming in to play today, which makes them a huge disappointment considering their stacked pitching staff, and with Nomar Garciaparra, Andruw Jones, and Jason Schmidt all on the disabled list for quite some time the future doesn’t look too bright.
As a Giants fan I couldn’t be happier.

Anybody who even remotely pays attention to sports heard about the 7 year 126 MILLION dollar contract Barry Zito signed with the Giants before last season. At the time it was viewed by everyone but the Giants front office as a financially irresponsible signing, but now it has turned in to nothing short of the worst free agent acquisition EVAR!!! Zito’s record is now an historically bad 0-8, and even though he has been “better” since being demoted to the bullpen for a few days, in his last start 14 out of the 28 hitters he face reached base. I would be willing to bet that if you put a batting tee at home plate instead of Barry Zito 14 out of 28 batters wouldn’t reach base. I mean, that’s almost hard to do. Shit, I’ll bet that even if Bengie Molina pulled a Crash Davis (Major League is a cinematic masterpiece btw) and told the hitters what was coming it would STILL be hard for 14 out of 28 of them to reach base!

Not that he needs any more money, but I just thought of a great endorsement deal for Zito to sign. He would be the perfect spokesman for a chiropractor, because his neck has got to be sore from whipping his head around so often and watching all of those balls leave the yard.

Great signing Brian Sabean!!! You are now 0 for the last 5 years and you STILL HAVE A JOB!!! Wow Giants. wow.

“Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…”
“Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.”

Admittedly, I too am a bit skeptical of the upcoming Princess Bride Game, which will launch as a downloadable animated game this summer. The following trailer isn’t necessarily assuaging my distrust. There are a million and one ways to fuck up a legacy, and until I see otherwise, looks like Worldwide Biggies is tampering with greatness. But please, judge for yourself.

The Princess Bride Downloadable Game Trailer from PrincessBrideGame on Vimeo.

Right now, AcidPlanet.com is hosting a contest where fans have the opportunity to remix the title track of the Princess Bride Game. Woopie.

From the Press Release:

NEW YORK, NY — April 16, 2008 — ACIDplanet.com one of the Internet’s premier sites for user-generated music, video content, computer-based recording and remixing tools, today launched a contest to develop a new version of the film’s title theme song timed with a new downloadable video game based on the classic 1987 film, The Princess Bride. Contestants can download the components from the Sony Creative Software ACIDplanet.com website and remix their own title track from The Princess Bride Game (available at www.princessbridegame.com) created by Worldwide Biggies and debuting in June 2008.

Contestants may download the components to The Princess Bride Game theme song starting today and must submit their remix entry by midnight May 22, 2008. ACIDplanet remix contestants may use Sony Creative Software ACID XPress loop-based music production software that users can download for free or they may also use their software of choice.

The winning entry will be selected by the producers of the game and will be featured on http://www.PrincessBrideGame.com as an exclusive world premiere this summer. Other prizes for The Princess Bride Game ACIDplanet.com remix contest include a Debutante Butterfly guitar from Daisy Rock, Sony Creative Software Vegas Pro 8, ACID Pro 6, Cinescore Theme Packs, Sony Creative Software Loop Libraries and a Sony Portable DVD player.

For more information and complete contest rules, please visit:
http://www.acidplanet.com

I’ll be happy to change my tune once I see the actual game, but right now all I’m thinking is Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Don’t mess with greatness. Don’t gild the lily.

“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?”

“If there are, we all be dead.”

DEATH FIRST!

Synthesis photographer Hali McGrath made the long haul out to East Rutherford, NJ, for the last show of the 24-hour Live Earth concert series. Held on 7.7.07 in cities across the globe, Live Earth sought to raise awareness about the dangers of climate change. It also managed to bring together a lot of great acts. Here are just a sampling of Hali’s photos. Shots of Akon, Alicia Keys, Zach Braff, Smashing Pumpkins, John Mayer, The Police, Al Gore and Cameron Diaz after the jump. Look for more photos soon in an upcoming issue of Synthesis Digital. (more…)