Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

Like most small Northern California mountain towns, Chico has a serious cougar problem. Maybe “problem” isn’t the right word, many of them kill it at places like Monks Wine Bar; hell a few Synthesis Inner Sanctum matrons are quickly approaching cougar status. Still, I’ve never seen one of them kill a snake (though I’ve heard tales), so I’ve decided to give the time-honored Band You’ve Never Heard of Band of the Day distinction to Portland, Maine punk rock trio, Cougars Kill Cobras.

From the look of ‘em you might expect some quirky indie rock, but from one second listening to their ear-piercing feedback and pummeling beats and you know you are about to get your dose of garage-style indie-punk. Drawing firmly from the DC hardcore scene, this trio kills it with smart lyrics, abrasive scream-singing, distorted-octave riffs and tones that make you want to tear out your hair….in the best way possible. Check out their web site for useful information, or just check the space. And if you find the guitars are too gnarly for you, just hang in there for a second: it’s worth it, trust me.

UPDATE: So I’m gonna go ahead and call bullshit on this one. See here and here  and….awww fuck it

Just got this Myspace bulletin, so it’s not exactly written in stone, BUT:

Ian Mackaye, lead singer of influential hardcore band Minor Threat as well as Fugazi passed away today in a Baltimore hospital room. Outside a Fugazi show in New Jersey last night, the singer was struck by a car passing by the front of the Ventura Theatre. Brunswick police say that the driver allegedly stopped, but then fled the scene. There is now a police investigation underway.

Mackeye was rushed to St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore, where he was pronounced dead this morning at 6am. This is a tragedy for the underground music as a whole and we need to stand together at this time of loss.

Details coming, I’m sure