President Bish better have my money. I’ve heard that “check is in the mail” shit before. hell, I probably said it a time or two. Well, our president says that they’re ahead of schedule. President Bish, in an attempt to raise his public profile and prevent a lynching once he leaves office in January, is giving us, the American taxpayer (well…most of us), a little payback…in the good way. because, you know, we’re not already in debt for trillions of dollars. Schwarzenegger’s going to cut funding to California schools to the tune o 4 billion dollars. Here’s Your Mad Money! Yay! America! Fuck Yeah! Where’s my money, Bish!?

President Bish Quoted From Washington Post:

Good morning. It’s obvious our economy is in a slowdown. Fortunately, we recognized the signs early and took action. I signed an economic growth package that will provide tax rebates to millions of American families and workers to boost consumer spending. On Monday, the Treasury Department will begin delivering the first of these tax rebates by direct deposit. During the first week alone nearly 7.7 million Americans will receive their tax rebates electronically. Then on May 9th, the IRS will begin mailing checks to millions more across America.

Wesley Snipes is pissed. I get $600. The world is still fucked. This whole thing is retarded and will not work. But thanks for the cash anyway. More good news Idiocy after the jump. (more…)

Lou Pearlman, the Brains Behind ‘N Sync, Backstreet Boys pleads guilty on charges of fraud, and no, we’re not just talking about passing off models as musicians. In a 300 Million dollar fraud scheme, Pearlman and accomplices ripped off banks and private investors over a course of over 20 years. Many private investors were aspiring actors and models who paid to be featured on his Trans Continental “scouting” web sites.

The charges carry a maximum of 25 years in prison and a $1m (£506,000) fine.
Mr Pearlman, 53, is expected to plead guilty to two charges of conspiracy, money laundering and making false statements during a bankruptcy proceeding.

Apparently Pearlman, who had already been in litigation with ‘N Sync and Backstreet Boys for embezzlement and name ownership (settled out of court), was able to convince investors and major banks to invest in a company that didn’t actually exist. He’s been nervously keeping his back against the wall in an Orlando jail since July of 2007. As part of the plea agreement, Pearlman is expected to turn on his accomplices and aid in their prosecution, and give up four luxury cars and two bank checks totaling nearly $100,000. He probably figures it’s worth it. Look at him. 25 years in prison? Dude’s pasty ass cornhole couldn’t take it.

Get this: one guy gets another guy to pose for him during a paternity test so that he won’t have to pay child support to his babymamma in Virginia. The reason? So his wife and children in Pennsylvania wouldn’t find out. Oh, and both men are officers in the US Army. Here’s to standing up for American values.

Full Article

CARLISLE, Pa. — Two high-ranking U.S. Army officers are accused of teaming up to deceive a paternity test so one of them could avoid making child-support payments.

When [Col. Scott] Carlson went to the domestic relations office in Cumberland County to deny paternity, he was told he would have to submit a DNA sample to show that he was not the father, officials said.

A month after that, officials said Carlson convinced Col. Bruce Adkins to pose as him and provide the DNA sample. The paternity test came back negative, but workers at the domestic relations office caught on to what was happening, officials said.

If convicted, the men face the possibility of prison time. Carlson is currently in Egypt. Adkins is stateside and is expected to turn himself in some time this week.

Officials said Carlson was trying to avoid paying the child support in Virginia because he was trying to keep the situation secret from his wife and children in Pennsylvania.