Two cops in Florida respond to a call regarding an 8-foot alligator in an apartment complex parking lot. Instead of waiting for animal control, one of the two morons decides to wrestle it. After being thrown off, bitten and bloodied, the second cop takes out his gun and shoots the gator twice in the head. These idiots are currently being “reprimanded.” KILL KILL KILL!

Ken Griffey Jr. of the Cincinnati Reds hit his 600th career home run today in Florida off of Mark Hendrickson. Griffey joins Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays and Sammy Sosa as a member of the ultra-exclusive 600 HR club.

But here’s what makes Griffey so special: He’s the only member of the modern era inductees (Bonds and Sosa) that did not abuse steroids. So basically, he’s more legit in my book. And how Griffey has managed to achieve this feat on top of the litany of injuries that has plagued a large portion of his career is nothing short of amazing.

A 50-year-old man in Tampa, Florida hired a nude maid to clean his house for $100 per hour. I guess hiring a naked maid can really take you to the cleaners. After the woman, Kenna DiMartini, took her clothes off and did some dusting she then managed to rob him of $40,000 of his wife’s jewelry. What I want to know is where she put all the jewels?

The man said he left the woman alone in his bedroom to clean. Bad move, buddy. The man’s wife was out of town caring for her sick mother when he hired the maid on Craigslist.com. She is now seeking divorce due to the incident.

Moral: Don’t hire a klepto naked sexy maid? And if you’re going to spend $100/hour then wouldn’t you at least stay in the room and watch?

I promise that should the owner give me the adorable 6 legged kitten, I will love it, and pet it, and feed it, and call him George….

The adorable lil bugger, known as “Hex,” (which is a bad-ass name for a cat, six-legged or otherwise) was born as a conjoined twin that fused together in mamma cat’s womb. Now the owner is trying to raise money so that Hex can have surgery to remove the extra legs.

From CBS affiliate:

The vets say Hex will need surgery to remove the duplicate lower legs and intestinal surgery to remove the part of the colon which is duplicated.

The surgery needed to remove Hex’s duplicate hind legs will cost anywhere from $24-hundred to $3-thousand. Hex’s family say that amount is going to be difficult for them to manage.

WHAT?! This is fucking lame on so many levels!

First off,who would wanna ruin a perfectly good six-legged cat? In some Hindu villages, that shit would go over like it was heaven-sent…not to mix religious metaphors, but you know what I mean. Maybe the world needs a six-legged cat. I know I do. I will gladly take the kitten and raise it as my own to save its extra two legs.

Furthermore, who thinks it’s a good idea to pay for surgery for a cat? When human beings in dire need of medical care can’t even afford it? Spend $3,000 on a cat? What kind of misanthrope would do that?

CATS MAKE THOUSANDS OF NEW CATS EVERY DAY. Many of them end up in animal shelters, or as strays. There are plenty more. Here’s an idea: get another one. And leave poor Hex alone.

I mean, perhaps Hex having 6 legs is life threatening, but I say let fate decide if Hex was meant for this world.

Defunct white-boy rapper Vanilla Ice was released from a Florida Jail today after being arrested for a domestic dispute with his wife.

The 39-year-old rap performer was arrested Thursday night at the couple’s Wellington home in South Florida. Police said his wife called 911, saying he had kicked and hit her during an argument over buying a bedroom set. She later told deputies he had only pushed her. AP

This isn’t anything new. The washed up hack, whose real name is Rob Van Winkle, had a similar incident back in 2001 when he allegedly pulled out some of his wife’s hair while driving down Interstate-595. Van Winkle sure has a knack for the bizarre and idiotic; first hair pulling like a little girly girl, and now pushing his wife after arguing over a bedroom set. This guy seriously needs some help.

Though most of the music industry is detoxing from the four-day debauchery of SXSW, those 24-hour party people of the hip-hop/electronica/dance persuasions are gearing up for another round of getting day-wasted and partying until the sun comes up. The 2008 Winter Music Conference will be held March 25th through 29th in the disgustingly well-dressed and tanned city of Miami, FL. If you’ll be attending, be sure to check out the Stones Throw/Anthem Pool Party at the Raleigh Hotel from 1PM to 10PM on Saturday, March 29th. Madlib, Peanut Butter Wolf, A-Trak, DJ Mehdi, Egon, James Pants, Karriem Riggins, Baron Zen and Dam-Funk will all perform DJ Sets.