I remember my first South by Southwest experience pretty well, considering the whole kid in a candy store / free music, free booze thing that happens in Austin TX every March. But the one thing I remember most was how much my feet hurt after the second day, and how happy I was when I visited the Riot Act Media party and found out that they were giving away free shoes. Saucony Jazz sneakers. I had brought nice-looking, but ill-fitting kicks with me, and once slipping into a pair of comfy shoes I was good to go for the rest of the week. It was like walking on the wings of sponge-angels. I podcasted something to that effect on the Synthesis radio site. In fact, since 2006, I’ve bought nothing but Sauconies (How’s that for good marketing, yo? You’re welcome for the free plug, thanks for the free shoes). Having saved my feet in 2006, David Lewis will forever be a saint to me.

This year, however, I failed to make it to a party featuring free shoes, and right now my brown Saucony Jazz sneakers, going on 6 months old, are in flattened shambles. It’s true, as outlined in my astute friend’s blog, musicismyboyfriend, there’s pretty much nowhere to sit at SXSW for more than a minute. You’re on the go from venue to venue to venue the entire time because, honestly, there’s just too much to see and so little time to see it. Sure, there are rickshaws (known in these parts as pedicabs), and I did use one after Chiodos‘ set on Friday night since La Zona Rosa is kind of a long walk from the main drag on 6th street. Otherwise I was on foot, and as of Sunday I’ve been developing the gnarliest athletes’ foot you’ve ever seen. If it gets any more personality I may have to give it a name. Updates as they come. In the meantime, Check out Video Matt being a drunk ass on a rickshaw. Hilarity! Snoochy Boochies!

Yeah, you read right. Three severed human feet, all the same size, all wearing sneakers, all still unidentified and of unknown origins have washed up on Canada’s western Gulf Islands over the last 6 months:

The standing mystery began in August 2007 when a severed foot in a white and blue runner was discovered washed ashore on the beaches of Jedidiah Island in the Georgia Straight between the Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island. Authorities speculated it might have been lost in a boat propeller accident, due to foul play, or a hoax. Six days later, a second right foot in a black and white sneaker appeared on nearby Gabriola Island. The most recent find was on February 8, when a third right foot washed up on the east side of Valdes Island.

Speculated it might be a “hoax”? Are Canadian’s really that badass that, when they’re bored as fuck, they track down some human feet to plant on beaches, purely for the lulz? Yet another reason the move to Canada.