There was a time when people gave a rat’s ass about Guns n Roses… I think it was when they still had Slash in the band and when they said they were putting out a record they did it.  This Chinese Democracy bullshit has been in the works since the 90s, and believe me, we’ve all been on the edge of our seats waiting for it.

Well, someone who did give a fuck, a blogger named Kevin Skwerl, leaked the tracks. This, as everything that anyone does, pissed off Axl, probably because he needed another 6 years to polish the album. He called his guard dogs, who called the FBI.

Remember back in June when those nine possibly Chinese Democracy-bound Guns n’ Roses songs leaked? At the time, the man who admitted leaking them, Antiquiet blogger Kevin Skwerl, told Rock Daily “If legal proceedings come my way, I’ll face them 100 percent. I’m not afraid of that. I did what I did, and I’ll face the music if I have to” after a meeting with the FBI. Skwerl (real name Kevin Cogill) will face the law, as he was arrested this morning at his Culver City, California home for suspicion of violating federal copyright laws. According to the FBI, Cogill admitted to posting the songs when questioned. Cogill is set to appear at the U.S. District Court today, said Assistant U.S. Attorney Craig Missakian.

This kind of sucks, considering the fact that this is going to cause album delays and Dr. Pepper was going to give everyone in America a free soda if it came out this year.

“Suicide Is Painless” would be a pretty bad ass final quote to scrawl in the dust on the hood of your car right before you did a swan dive off a bridge, at least that’s what Samuel Israel III thought. The convicted “hedge fund swindler” was supposed to report to federal prison after being sentenced to 20 years in April for being a thieving little bastard. He convinced investors to put more than $450 million in to Bayou hedge funds, which have since collapsed, and was ordered to pay back $300 million to his victims.

Too bad this whole thing is guaranteed to be a farce. The FBI says there has been no body found, and nobody saw anybody jump. I can’t say I blame the dude for faking it though. I mean, if somebody was like “show up at my office in a few weeks to report to prison where you are sure to get used like a dick receptical for about 20 years straight” I would probably find a way to fuck off in the meantime too.

[The following article, written by Bob Howard for Synthesis Weekly, was originally published in the print version of Synthesis on Monday, May 19th, 2008. He can be reached at bob@madbob.com]

Keep on Drinking
By Bob Howard

“Be it destiny or free will, there are those amongst us who might do the rest of society a favor by staying on the couch, taking bong rips and playing the latest version of Grand Theft Auto.”

A Long History of Stupid: I’ve just started reading a biography of long-time FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, and as a result, I’m learning quite a lot about the history of this country and the tradition of our government cracking down on dissent. This latest episode of our history is far from the first time the Bill of Rights has been superseded and suspended in the name of “security.” I have yet to grasp the logic of suspending freedoms to ensure security when I thought that the whole thing we are trying to secure in the first place is freedom; but I digress.
Anyway, here are some interesting factoids I’ve picked up thus far: Remember when in protest of the French dissent against the “War on Terror” our Congress made the brilliant move of re-naming French Fries “Freedom Fries?” Seems like a pretty creative manifestation of nationalistic stupidity, right? Wrong. During World War I, our Congress re-named Sauerkraut “Liberty Cabbage.” Our current stupidity isn’t even original! How do you like that?

Think the threat of terrorism is a new thing? Wrong. Just prior to and then after World War I, the Red Scare developed. Anarchists and Communists were on the rise and there were actually a series of letter bombs and bomb attacks that riddled the nation’s capitol and industrial power figures.
These attacks lead to a complete abridgment of the freedoms granted in the Bill of Rights. Anyone suspected of being a communist, a socialist, or a sympathizer — essentially any Russian factory worker — was rounded up in mass arrests and many were unceremoniously deported so quickly that there wasn’t even time for an appeal.

More heartwarming thoughts after the jump. (more…)