While the rest of the world is beginning to face a major food crisis, prompting the UN to get off their collective fat ass, Americans are still trying their best to lose weight. Today on the Morning Show, one of the topics was the HCG Diet, which includes injecting HCG (Human ChorioGonadotropin) Hormone while eating a daily 500-calorie diet. Hey, here’s an idea:

How about instead of injecting your body with hormones and starving yourself, JUST EAT LESS. Try getting off the HOG diet.

Here’s another idea: instead of driving every single place you go, work off some of that FAT ASS of yours and ride a bike. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs. You fat ass piece of shit.

Well, it looks like I’m fucked. Guess I better enjoy life now before I turn into a complete vegetable piece of shit…er, I mean a senior suffering from dementia:

Having a big belly in your 40s can boost your risk of getting Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia decades later, a new study suggests.

It’s not just about your weight. While previous research has found evidence that obesity in middle age raises the chances of developing dementia later, the new work found a separate risk from storing a lot of fat in the abdomen. Even people who weren’t overweight were susceptible.

Maybe I just need to start watching Real Girl Thinspo videos on YouTube again. PERFECTION COMES IN A BAGGY SIZE ZERO!!111

America’s most notorious political shock jock is once again making waves. With the extensive drama of the Democratic primary, Rush Limbaugh has incited his very own form of voter fraud with “Operation Chaos.” The ploy is quite simple: As the Republican candidacy has already been decided, Limbaugh has urged Republicans in states awaiting primary voting to re-register as Democratic and vote for Hillary Clinton in an attempt to prolong the race and further drain each candidate. Clinton has been chosen because Limbaugh sees Obama as the tougher candidate for the the GOP to defeat:

“We need Barack Obama bloodied up politically, and it’s obvious that the Republicans are not going to do it and don’t have the stomach for it.”

Jesus. Rush Limbaugh is despicable. Here’s a man who loves nothing more than to claim himself as a true patriotic American, yet is now pushing underhanded and morally reprehensible voting tactics. It’s certainly not surprising though, as Limbaugh has made a career out of offending people and embarrassing himself. His wish to have Obama “bloodied up” seems quite appropriate; Limbaugh is a bigot and cares little for black Americans.

But there is good news… You can buy your very own Operation Chaos ball cap for just $19.95! Sport the red, white and blue with pride because “Operation Chaos is Patriotic!”

Up yours Rush Limbaugh. Here’s an idea: Waddle your fat ass back to the cafeteria, pop another painkiller and then rant about how “drug use is destroying this country.” Us bleeding-heart liberals never tire of your hypocrisy!