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Or See Encyclopedia Dramatica: Facepalm

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FACE

[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Coming Soon

It’s a well-known fact that people like to adapt movies from books. It’s also a well-known fact that most of these efforts suck. So it’s my job to warn you about upcoming adaptations so you have ample time to read the book. This gives you the chance to complain about inconsistencies and general “suckiness” while still in the theater, making you look learned and therefore more attractive. You can thank me later.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, July 4th: This is a documentary, so I guess it won’t really do to get mad about liberties taken with the adaptation. But it can’t hurt to read some of the famous Gonzo’s work if only for your own amusement. From the description it seems like the filmmakers are big fans, which can be bad in a documentary if you’re trying to eek out truth. The gist I get is that the point the film makes is that Thompson did what journalists are too afraid to do nowadays, namely get high and write caustic things about politicians. This may be true, but I easily tire of ‘60s and ‘70s nostalgia. Sure people were a bit crazier back then and I’m sure there are things to be learned from that era, but it’s over, so deal.

Journey To the Center of the Earth 3D, July 11th: Based on the classic Jules Verne novel about a rogue scientist who travels to, you guessed it, the center of the earth. According to Wikipedia, this novel didn’t age as well as some of Verne’s other works, because he was mostly wrong about what is contained in the center of the earth. However, none of that really matters because this movie is in 3D. And I will watch anything in 3D, even if it stars Brendan Fraser.

more upcoming adaptations after the jump.
(more…)

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

…is removed, but homeboy still looks kinda like Jabba The Hut.

Huang Chuncai holds the record for most facial tumors and is the most interesting looking person on the planet.

“I used t feel very uncomfortable. Now that the more-than-10 kilogram tumor has been cut off, i feel very relieved.”

Full Story HERE.

Neurofibroma is a Motherfucker.

sorry, but I’d hate myself more if I didn’t point this out: