With news that the current mortgage crisis has gotten so out of control in America that even millionaires such as Ed McMahon and Evander Holyfield have both recently had their homes foreclosed on is a total fucking farce. The mortgage crisis is affecting the middle class home owners that got an adjustable rate loan they could barely afford to make the payment on during the housing boom, and now REALLY can’t afford it. That was during the time when I saw homes that should have been worth about 150 grand selling for almost 3 times that amount for no reason.

But I digress. The Holyfield and McMahon situations are simply a case of those two being dumb fucks. Those two getting foreclosed on is happening for two reasons: A) they are both stupid. And B) they are both REALLY stupid. First of all, the Holyfield mansion had 17 BATHROOMS!! Who has to shit that much?! Who even knows 17 people that all have to shit at the same time?! Are you telling me he couldn’t have got by with an 8 to 10 bathroom mansion without having people complain they had to wait to take a dump? And when McMahon was asked about how this happened to him he replied “Well, if you spend more money than you make, you know what happens. And it can happen. You know, a couple of divorces thrown in, a few things like that. And, you know, things happen.” No, I don’t know Ed. After I lock my keys in the car while it’s still running I say “things happen”. Not after going $644,000 behind on a $4.8 million dollar home because I can’t figure it the fuck out!

It’s crazy how rich people forget what it’s like not to be rich. Holyfield had better start the rematch with Tyson talks like ASAP, and Ed McMahon better be on the horn to Conan O’brien offering to suck his freckled cock to be his sidekick when he takes Leno’s spot faster you can say “and our defending champion recieves…..two and three quarters stars!”. Fucking morons.

Seriously. I challenge anyone to try watching this montage of Mike Tyson’s greatest quotes and not laugh. What’s really laughable though, is the recent rumblings of a Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield rematch later this year:

British heavyweight Danny Williams told BBC Sport last week that any Holyfield-Tyson rematch would be “a freak show”, and “an insult to everybody’s intelligence”. Another critic of a Holyfield-Tyson bout is former undisputed world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, who beat both of them. “I wouldn’t give Tyson a hope,” he said. “Evander’s obviously the better fighter but I’d rather see him do something else. Why fight the same fight again? We all know who would win.”

The last Tyson-Holyfield in 1997 ended when Tyson was disqualified for biting off part of Holyfield’s ear, not once, but twice:

Like he said himself in the first video “I’m gonna make sure you talk about me. Your grandkids and greatgrandkids are gonna know about me. I’m gonna make sure of that. You’ll never forget about me. Your greatgrandkids are gonna say ‘Wow, wasn’t that a bizarre individual?’” Why yes, yes it was.