This is probably the best thing that’s happened on the internet EVER

Actor Owen Wilson reportedly tried committing suicide this weekend, cutting his wrists and taking a bunch of pills. A statement by the actor, released to TMZ.com stated “I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time.” EMO. Maybe he watched that part in The Royal Tennenbaums where his brother gets all bummed out to Elliott Smith and tries to kill himself too many times.

I highly recommend checking out the e-card for the forthcoming Surrogate record here. The album art featured in the e-card is courtesy of the amazing Jordan Butcher who is definitely as cool as his web site suggests.  And while you’re having fun in e-card land, you should read the amazing biography of Surrogate, written by, ahem, yours truly. THATS WHAT WE CALL THE GRIND MAN. GET ON IT.

If you buy one record next Tuesday, August 28th, make it Surrogate’s Love is For the Rich. There are many reasons for this, but here’s the main one:

…is just trying to be as cool as The Cure, circa 1985.

Will never happen. Your silly hair and makeup will never own up. Sorry brah.

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