I hate posting stuff from College Humor, but they do shit better over there.  They have Hollywood style effects teams with big budgets and have access to child actors by the dozens.  Our skits use toys we found around the office, are generally unfunny and, because of Megan’s Law, aren’t allowed within 50 yards of minors. You have one orgy with 5th graders and people get all up in arms about it. WTF?!!

So it’s the last night before the elections, and I couldn’t be happier. When you spend your work time entirely based around the internetz, you tend to get caught up in this sort of thing. No matter if Obama wins or loses, one thing is for sure: our office has a fetish for Sarah Palin. At one point, I remember the entire front page of the blog site covered with Palin slander and what not… good times.

Well let’s take a look at the polls, shall we? CNN has Obama up around 7 points as of right now, which is pretty decent. I think the main thing is getting these young voters, who have locked into Obama for one reason or another, to actually go out in the field and vote tomorrow. From the Austin Business Journal:

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama holds a 7-point lead on his Republican rival Sen. John McCain, according to the latest analysis from CNN on election eve.

CNN’s Poll of Polls shows Obama with 51 percent of the vote to McCain’s 44 percent. Five percent of voters remain undecided, according to the polls. The polls surveyed voters between Oct. 28 and Nov. 1.

Several states including Florida and Ohio remain battleground territory for the candidates, the CNN polls show. Texas however is squarely in the McCain camp with about 57 percent of voters expected to cast their ballot for the Arizona senator, compared with just 38 percent for Illinois’ Obama.

Realistically, the popular vote doesn’t mean a thing. CNN’s electoral vote calculator really gives a better picture on the whole ordeal.

The blue is Obama, light blue moderate Obama, yellow is too close to call, light red is moderately McCain, and deep red is fully McCain.  They’ve got their estimates at Obama having 297 electoral votes to McCain’s 157, with 90 votes up for grabs.  At this point, if the GOP managed to get all of the yellow states, they would still have to pick up 10 of Obama’s votes, which would equal a tie.  But fuck it, I’m just a dude behind a computer.  Just go out and vote tomorrow and we’ll see what happens.

In the meantime, I joined a bowling league.  Just thought you should know.

A new website called Tax Cut Facts, a branch of Barack Obama.com, has introduced a new tax cut program to calculate which canidate will really be saving you money. Reports show that under President Senator Obama, 95% of Americans will be saving money. In addition, Obama will be applying credited money to help students and families of students pay for college.

“Barack Obama and Joe Biden will cut taxes for 95% of working families, and provide at least three times as much tax relief for middle class families as John McCain and Sarah Palin. The Obama/Biden plan provides $1,000 of tax relief for workers and new tax benefits to help families pay for college, childcare and save for retirement.”

Taxcutfacts.org also quotes various types of news sources explaining what the media has been saying about the Obama Tax Cut plan.

“Obama is not proposing to raise taxes for most Americans. To the contrary, he would triple the earned-income tax credit for low-wage earners, increasing work incentives at the bottom. He would cut taxes on people in the middle — indeed, he would do so more aggressively than McCain would.” [Sebatian Mallaby, Washington Post, 9/8/08]

Rea Hederman Jr., a senior policy analyst at the conservative Heritage Foundation “said the middle class would likely pay less under Mr. Obama’s plan than Mr. McCain’s.” [NY Sun, 8/15/08]

Obama’s tax calculator is “a very simple gadget that’s the most useful thing I’ve seen on any political website in a while.” [Forbes.com, 10/08]

After noodling with it, it’s pretty clear that unless you’re banking over $250,000 a year, you’re going to be getting either a break or no effect on your current taxes. I can understand where high-income people are coming from, with not being able to afford gold toilets and all, but realize that if you are making over $250k a year after this horrid recession you’re really sitting nicely. We have people out there who are straining not to lose their homes, and high-income earners are bitching about their wallets hurting. Fucking pathetic.

Check the site out, and take it with a grain of salt (considering it’s source).

I would love to start this off with “I have no idea what a ‘Gossip Girl‘ is”, but I’m ashamed to say I do. Thank my girlfriend for that one. Anyways, the cast of the CW show ‘Gossip Girl’ recently put out a PSA to inform parents of the dangers of voting for John McCain, and I thought it was pretty clever. To put it bluntly, yea, most 18 to 25 year-olds definitely know more about the current state of U.S. politics, based on the fact that most old people are stuck in their ways and retarded when it comes to change.

Did you know that Barack Obama’s middle name is Hussein? Did you know he is both a Christian and a Muslim? Did you know he is a certified terrorist? Yea, I didn’t know these things either. Luckily people standing in line waiting for a McCain rally informed us of these horrible, TOTALLY TRUE qualities about our next President Senator Obama. I’ll tell you, man, old white ladies sure have figured everything out… well, besides how to get their homes from foreclosure because of the biggest national debt since the Dust Bowl.

This shows the importance of youth voting. Without an active stance by young people, the routinely massive voting turnout by seniors can easily sway states. Yea, those guys in the videos. Make sure to register to vote.

I’m a little late to hop on this, but as of Oct. 11th, Sarah Palin was found guilty in her infamous Troopergate scandal. Imagine that: a self described ‘pit bull with lipstick’ got drunk with power and miss-allocated resources… whodda thunk it? As for what the punishment will be, I’m guessing the McCain camp will just put her outside for a bit, call her a bad dog and then rub her belly when she’s learned her lesson. Here’s an edited version of a News.com story, full link HERE.

REPUBLICAN vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin used her job as Alaska Governor to get a state trooper sacked, a report said today.
In a 263-page report released by Alaska’s Legislative Council following a six-hour closed doors hearing, investigator Steve Branchflower said Governor Palin was guilty of violating state ethics rules for public officials.

“I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.110 (a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act,” Branchflower wrote in the report.

The report comes as another blow to John McCain’s struggling White House bid.

As McCain sought to restore control over unruly rallies which have seen a stream of invective, including a death threat, aimed at Democratic rival Barack Obama, the “troopergate” scandal threatened to torpedo his campaign.

In the long awaited report Mr Branchflower said she had allowed her husband Todd Palin to use the Alaska governor’s office and its resources to pressure officials to fire her former brother-in-law, state trooper Mike Wooten.

“Governor Palin knowingly permitted a situation to continue where impermissible pressure was placed on several subordinates in order to advance a personal agenda, to wit: to get Trooper Michael Wooten fired,” the report said.

“She had the authority and power to require Mr Palin to cease contacting subordinates, but she failed to act,” the report added.

Fuck that.  You can put lipstick on a pit bull, but at the end of the day she’s still a bitch.