Video Matt comes through with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR new Paramore videos on our YouTube channel. And you thought that dude who was selling her childhood drawings on eBay was bad. At least he was her stepdad. We ain’t even kin.

What do those three have in common? Good will! This Friday (the 16th at 5pm!), a celeb-autographed teak wood table will go up on Ebay to the highest bidder. 100% of the money will be donated to Goodwill Industries International, North America’s leading nonprofit provider of education, training, and career services for people with disadvantages.

Most recently, Cisco Brothers sponsored the star-studded eco-lounge for Green Means Go!: “Solutions For Greener Living” where dozens of like—minded retailers and luxury service providers gathered to engage with environmentally conscious celebrities.

More than 20 actors, models, musicians, and members of royalty attended the Green Means Go! event and signed the Cisco Brothers Teak table including: Amy Smart; Corey Haim; Noah Zehetner (NBC’s “Heroes”); the Oscar and Grammy Award-winning recording Artist, DJ Paul of three 6 mafia, Alli Sims, Drew Seely (High School Musical) and many, many more.

Go to www.ebay.com to check it out!

At first this struck me as a bit rude: A web site where women sell the jewelry that their ex-boyfriends have given them. I mean, a present is a present, right? No matter how you broke up, at one point your former beau was that enamored with you enough to drop some coin on a shiny trinket, and that gift should be a memory of those happy times. Right?

But I started to see it from the other side. I am fortunate enough to remain friendly (or actual bona fide friends) with the majority of my ex girlfriends. But I know my case is more the exception than the rule. I’m sure that for some, those once-lovely diamond earrings are now a painful reminder of stillborn love. But what to do with such damaged goods? Try selling it on www.ExBoyfriendJewelry.com.

(You might want to check back with them soon. Right now the site’s shut down because of too much traffic…)

And here’s the kicker. Each piece of jewelry comes with a description, both of the item and the circumstances of the breakup. A way to hock your wares and air your grievances? Dish-dish-dish! I think site creators Megahn and Marie Perry may have struck a goldmine (should they decide to take a small cut, like eBay does).

Megahn’s kinda hot, too. I wonder if she’s into hirsute bloggers who like Gibson guitars, Indian food and casual drug use?

There’s some great shopping on there, girls! But remember, the best gifts are the gifts you give yourself.

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

People will throw money at the darndest things. Like this pretzel, for instance.

… which is being sold on Ebay by a radio DJ out of Eugene, Oregon. The pretzel’s owner, a Mr. Michael Fleming, found it in a bag of Rold Gold’s three years ago. He said this: “People seemed generally moved by these images and they really seem to believe that the Virgin Mary is before them.” Why the hell did he keep the pretzel for three years?

Here’s the description from Ebay:

You are bidding on the coveted Virgin Mary Pretzel. A member of the staff at The Donkey Show (101.5 KFLY and 106.3 KZZE) stumbled across this religious icon a little over two years ago in a Rold Gold pretzel snack bag. Of course we saw the financial implications of this relic, and decided to sell it to the highest bidder. This is a once in a lifetime auction, this pretzel is in mint condition, and could be yours if the price is right. If it was not for the Lord Jesus Christ smiling upon the pretzel factory on the day of this little pretzel’s conception, you would never have the opportunity to have it for your very own. Think of the magic that would enlighten your soul every time you looked at The Virgin Mary Pretzel sitting on your mantle or nightstand, right next to your rosary and bible. Jesus decided to commemorate his virgin mother in a salted treat that can be yours with the highest bid. Bid with confidence, as this item is being posted by a radio show, and we can’t legally lie about something of this magnitude! This little morsel is 100% legit, in the most Holy of ways. This item comes with the original packaging, with “sell by” date included!

28 bidders, 9 days left, $10,100 and rising. I will now carefully inspect everything I eat.

Paul Mawhinney, a Harrisburg, PA business businessman is putting his private record collection up for sale on eBay, which wouldn’t be such a big deal if it weren’t arguably the World’s Greatest Music Collection, consisting of over 3 million records, 300,000 CDs and over 6 million song titles:

Every genre of American music is represented: rock; jazz; country; R&B; blues; new age; Broadway and Hollywood; bluegrass; folk; children’s; comedy; Christmas, and more. No other collection in the world – publicly or privately held – even comes close.

More than half of the recordings in this incredible collection are NEW, with individual records worth hundreds or thousands of dollars each on the collectibles market. Covering many decades of music, the collection includes 78’s, 45 singles and EP’s, LP’s, and CD’s.

At present the collection is stored in a 16,000-foot climate controlled warehouse, where Mawhinney has been busy attempting to catalog the contents of the collection, but, according to his web site “ Advancing age, declining health and associated financial concerns, are forcing the owner of the collection to part with the result of his lifelong passion. It’s not a decision made lightly or without considerable soul searching.” And though he has put his collection on the open market, starting his eBay auction at a cool $3,000,000, Mawhinney is only interested in selling the collection to the right sort of buyer:

The history of 20th century music belongs in a museum (existing or new), or a music library. The collection’s owner is seeking a private collector or a philanthropist willing to buy and donate the collection. A donation would qualify as a tax-deductible event. The collection contains many thousands of duplicate copies, which could be sold individually on the collectibles market to recoup a substantial part of the purchase price. If you’re contemplating creating a museum around the collection, we can help with additional exhibits and design services.

So hey, rich fucks. Need to bury a few million in tax burden in some charitable cause? Why notbuy this record collection for your alma mater and be the coolest alumus in the history of the universe? Even better, if you’re a rich fuck interested in the lulz (ATTN: MARC ECKO), why not buy this shit and put it all on Limewire? Kids who would rather buy bottles of Mad Dog with their allowance than music will thank you for your generosity!