I think I have a mild obsession with this chick. I would love to see her head on a stick, but I just realized for the last 3 weeks, shes pretty much all I’ve blogged about. Oh well, there’s bigger fish to fry in the blogging world… LIKE SARAH PALIN CHEETOS!

No joke, someone has put up a Cheeto on Ebay that the seller claims is an exact replica of Gov. Palin holding her baby girl Trig. This goes way beyond all those weird ‘Jesus Grilled Cheeses’ we see pop up every now and then, simply because the given snack food bares no resemblance to any person, or anything edible, at all. Maybe this guy is onto something though… think of the food sponsorship opportunities. Palin branded elk jerky! Prunes in the shape of John McCain’s head!

Sparta frontman, solo artist, and former At the Drive In guitarist Jim Ward is selling a bunch of his guitars on eBay, including a 64 Gibson SG and a Fernandes Monterey he used in At The Drive In. Tell your mom to cough up some dough and bid on that shit, coward.

Video Matt comes through with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR new Paramore videos on our YouTube channel. And you thought that dude who was selling her childhood drawings on eBay was bad. At least he was her stepdad. We ain’t even kin.

What do those three have in common? Good will! This Friday (the 16th at 5pm!), a celeb-autographed teak wood table will go up on Ebay to the highest bidder. 100% of the money will be donated to Goodwill Industries International, North America’s leading nonprofit provider of education, training, and career services for people with disadvantages.

Most recently, Cisco Brothers sponsored the star-studded eco-lounge for Green Means Go!: “Solutions For Greener Living” where dozens of like—minded retailers and luxury service providers gathered to engage with environmentally conscious celebrities.

More than 20 actors, models, musicians, and members of royalty attended the Green Means Go! event and signed the Cisco Brothers Teak table including: Amy Smart; Corey Haim; Noah Zehetner (NBC’s “Heroes”); the Oscar and Grammy Award-winning recording Artist, DJ Paul of three 6 mafia, Alli Sims, Drew Seely (High School Musical) and many, many more.

Go to www.ebay.com to check it out!

At first this struck me as a bit rude: A web site where women sell the jewelry that their ex-boyfriends have given them. I mean, a present is a present, right? No matter how you broke up, at one point your former beau was that enamored with you enough to drop some coin on a shiny trinket, and that gift should be a memory of those happy times. Right?

But I started to see it from the other side. I am fortunate enough to remain friendly (or actual bona fide friends) with the majority of my ex girlfriends. But I know my case is more the exception than the rule. I’m sure that for some, those once-lovely diamond earrings are now a painful reminder of stillborn love. But what to do with such damaged goods? Try selling it on www.ExBoyfriendJewelry.com.

(You might want to check back with them soon. Right now the site’s shut down because of too much traffic…)

And here’s the kicker. Each piece of jewelry comes with a description, both of the item and the circumstances of the breakup. A way to hock your wares and air your grievances? Dish-dish-dish! I think site creators Megahn and Marie Perry may have struck a goldmine (should they decide to take a small cut, like eBay does).

Megahn’s kinda hot, too. I wonder if she’s into hirsute bloggers who like Gibson guitars, Indian food and casual drug use?

There’s some great shopping on there, girls! But remember, the best gifts are the gifts you give yourself.

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…