Britain’s favorite little drug addict was at it again last night, reportedly punching Moroccan musician Mustapha el Mounmi in the face and head butting a stranger who was trying to hail her a cab…

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m really glad I got a text from our good friend and balls champion earlier today. You see, I was about to go out on the street and slang, and I was about to do it all wrong. My boy told me to look up “Thug life Commandments,” and I’m glad he did. In Thug Life’s “Ten Crack Commandments Interpreted by True OGs,” we learn the tips of the trade, and ways to continue to follow the true American entrepreneurial spirit without getting shot or locked up.

Take for instance Rule #5. I was about to start selling meth to college freshmen out of my bedroom, but now I know better.:

5th Commandment
Never Sell No Crack Where You Rest At

If you sell crack where you lay yo head, yo crib gon become a target fo 5-0, jackers, addicts and niggas who rob slangas. To avoid this heat, git you some crack houses, Find abandoned cribs in da hood and tak’em over. Fortify yo shit wit security bars, steel doors and security cameras and git you some young and up and coming hoods to be yo lookouts.

Not sure how well this translates from crack to meth, but it’s a good start, and some decent guidelines for sure. This is the shit that the characters in The Wire kinda gloss over. It’s like they figure you should already know this shit because you grew up with it. That’s fucked. Us suburban middle class-raised white folks sure have a major disadvantage. KnowaddimeSane?

Amy Winehouse’s trial date for a drug possession charge in Norway was postponed this week until further notice.

Super cool Blake Fielder-Civil (Winehouse’s husband who is also involved in the case) can’t make the trip since he’s currently sitting in a jail cell in Britain on assault and bribery related charges.

Anne Vedvik of the Bergen courthouse said Winehouse had been due to appear on Friday and “The hearing has therefore been postponed to an undetermined date.”

Winehouse was arrested at their hotel with her husband and her hairdresser in Norway last October after they were caught with marijuana in their possession. She was later released after paying a 500-euro fine. Interestingly enough, agreeing to pay a fine in Norway is the equivalent of admitting to the charges. This also makes it somewhat difficult
to obtain visas in the future - which is probably why she ran into trouble for the Grammy’s last week.

We here at Synthesis really hope she pulls herself together

Researchers are trying to prove that ecstasy can be used for more than dancing to mind-numbingly awful techno.This Washington Post article on Research into the medical use of MDMA, aka ecstasy, is pretty interesting. It talks about treatments in post-traumatic stress disorder, double-blind studies, and includes the views of important figures on both sides of the debate over medical use of ecstasy.

It also introduced me to my hero of the day, Alexander Shulgin (formerly of Dow Chemical).

“I understood that our entire universe is contained in the mind and the spirit,” he wrote. “We may choose not to find access to it, we may even deny its existence, but it is indeed there inside us, and there are chemicals that can catalyze its availability.”

Shulgin made it his business to find those chemicals. In a New York Times profile in 2005, when Shulgin was 79, he estimated that he’d synthesized 200 psychoactive compounds and tested them on himself. Their effects ranged from paralyzing him with fear to granting him ecstatic visions. With MDMA, he was convinced that he’d found something special.

“I feel absolutely clean inside, and there is nothing but pure euphoria,” he wrote in his field journal. “The cleanliness, clarity, and marvelous feeling of solid inner strength continued . . . through the next day. I am overcome by the profundity of the experience.”

Sadly, the possibility of future medical use will forever be tarnished by this guy:

I had never heard of Aqua Dots or Bindeez Beads until yesterday, when it was announced that their manufacturer is recalling all the Aqua Dots in Australia and the US. As it turns out, when ingested, that shit turns into something close to GHB (a common type of roofie) once inside your body.

They look just plain delicious, don’t they?

So where, exactly, were the Bindeez/Aqua Dots manufactured? Where else but the leading producer of fuck-your-kids-up-with-lead-paint, and favorite US trading partner, China.

From Moose World:

The company’s products, which are manufactured by internationally approved toy
manufacturers in China, are subject to world standard independent testing. Moose
Enterprise has not experienced any safety concerns with its products since the company
was purchased by its current management team six years ago.
The product was immediately withdrawn from sale yesterday and parents can receive a
refund by freecalling 1800 303 895 or email returns@moosetoys.com .
Further information will be made available as soon as possible.
Media enquiries:
Peter Mahon
Royce Communications
Tel 03 9639 2300 / 0418 351 754

I swear, China must really have it in for our kids. It’s almost like they want to kill off or make vegetables out of our next generation, making it all the more easier to assume global hegemony/world leader status in the next 15 - 20 years. But that could never happen. Never. Ever. Even they say they’d never do that. And they would never lie to us.

As of now, you can still buy Bindeez online. Get your orders for cheap child date rape drugs in while you still can…