The aforementioned Superbug is hitting close to home. Here at Synthesis headquarters we have set up a quarantine around my desk because I have the immune system stamina of a 4-month old AIDS baby.

Yuba City school latest with student infection
The Associated Press
Article Launched: 11/03/2007 08:08:23 PM PDT

YUBA CITY, Calif.—A Yuba City elementary school is the latest to announce that a student has an antibiotic-resistant infection.

Yuba City Unified School District is sending parents warning letters about Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus—commonly called MRSA—after the staph infection was confirmed Friday.
The letter urges parents to have children wash their hands regularly and to avoid sharing clothing or towels. The infected child’s classroom is also being disinfected.
Meanwhile, Chico State University is reporting 31 students have tested positive for MRSA since January.

Read about MRSA at http://www.buttecounty.net/publichealth

In honor of today being Halloween, I’d like to remind you that one day you will be dead. Sorry. For more information on being dead , click the fucking more link
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All the shit you throw away — grocery bags, cd cases, water bottles, toys, iPods — ends up in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a heap of debris floating in the Pacific twice the size of Texas, consisting of 80 percent plastics and weighing some 3.5 million tons, and floating where few people ever travel, in no-man’s land between San Francisco and Hawaii.

Ocean current patterns may keep the flotsam stashed in a part of the world few will ever see, but the majority of its content is generated onshore, according to a report from Greenpeace last year titled “Plastic Debris in the World’s Oceans.”The report found that 80 percent of the oceans’ litter originated on land. While ships drop the occasional load of shoes or hockey gloves into the waters (sometimes on purpose and illegally), the vast majority of sea garbage begins its journey as onshore trash.

If you want to feel really bad about it, read always-genius Mark Morford’s take on it here. You see, its not just killing fish and turtles and bird, but it’s killing us too!

The poetry goes something like this: Plastic bottle is tossed away. Plastic bottle, along with millions just like it, escapes out to sea, drifts and wanders and ultimately joins giant toxic stew of other plastic garbage sitting like a massive island in middle of impartial but increasingly wary ocean.

Time passes. Life churns. Sea birds and other large marine life ingest (and then die from) some of the billions of bits of brightly-colored plastic floating about, as the sun slowly breaks down the rest of the plastic bottle into its fundamental, ultra-toxic polymer molecules. Stew thickens.

And then, the magic happens. Nature’s most efficient organic filters, the sea jellies, absorb those tiny plastic molecules into their bodies. Small fish eat the jellies. Larger fish eat the smaller fish. Slowly, the deadly plastics, which never completely biodegrade, amble their way back up the food chain and back into the stomachs and bloodstreams and ecosystems of larger and larger animals until, voila, there again is your plastic bottle, right there on your dinner plate. Neat!

The people over at New Scientist, who are always on some other shit anyway, are now officially on some OTHER other shit. They are currently featuring on their website a DEATH SPECIAL, which includes a litany of amazingly interesting articles on the one thing people rarely ever want to talk about. Among these are: “How Does it Feel To Die” a look into, literally, how it feels to die, and “What Happens After You Die” a somewhat comedic look at some of the past experiments into the possibilities of an afterlife. Anyways, check it out. Then die. Eventually.

In some countries, teens commit suicide by blowing themselves up for the good of their God or country or whatever. Yet in America thousands of teens commit suicide every year to NO NATIONAL ADVANTAGE. What I don’t get is why we don’t utilize this impressive natural, national resource and send our suicidal youths over to our enemies to do some damage. Just seems like a real waste. href=”http://www.hopeline.com/”>1-800-SUICIDE

QUICK! EVERYBODY PANIC!

There is a strain of staph infection on the loose and it’s COMING STRAIGHT FOR YOU!

It goes in your EAR and is more deadly than HIV.

Not even our children are safe. It’s TARGETING OUR YOUNG!

There’s NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO KEEP SAFE FROM THE SUPERBUG!

Companies are positioning themselves to MAKE MONEY OFF YOUR MISERY!

Staphylococcus aureus! Streptococcus pneunomiae! HELP!!!!!!!!!

Actually, back when I had cable television, I remember watching a show on the History Channel about WWI, and how an outbreak of tuberculoses or some shit shortly after the war actually caused more American deaths than the whole war. As much as the media hypes up some terribly imperative issue to keep use paralyzed with fear, then quickly move on to the next news item to keep us paralyzed with fear, pausing only to talk about ugly-ass vapid heiresses and movie star marriages, what ens up killing us all will inevitably be something like the common cold. YAY!