Fresh off a headlining gig at SF Gay Pride Festival last weekend, Chico’s own Armed For Apocalypse have officially inked a deal with Ironclad / Metal Blade records. Their debut album, DEFEAT, which coincidentally happens to be the heaviest album in the history of mankind, drops September 15th. Check out the Press Release below:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE….

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Ironclad Recordings Signs ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE: Set To Release Debut Album ‘Defeat’ in the US & Canada!….

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Los Angeles, CA – July 1, 2009 – Ironclad Recordings, founded by Unearth vocalist Trevor Phipps, is pleased to announce the signing of Chico California’s ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE; a band featuring the talents of former members of Will Haven, The Abominable Iron Sloth, and Ghostride. Ironclad Recordings is set to release ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE’s debut full-length studio album Defeat in the US and Canada on September 15^th, 2009 with SOAR releasing this behemoth of an album in Europe.  Defeat was recorded during two different sessions in late 2008 at the Pus Cavern in Sacramento, CA and Heirloom Studios in Chico, CA, with Matt Pedri engineering. Mixing and mastering for Defeat was handled by Eric Stenman (Saves The Day, Will Haven, Senses Fail, Far, Forever The Sickest Kids, Dashboard Confessional, Thrice) with cover art being tackled by renowned artist Matt Loomis, who has done cover art for Abominable Iron Sloth and the Makai in addition to merch designs for Mastodon and The Red Chord…..

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Trevor Phipps of Ironclad Recordings comments; “these guys are just ridiculously heavy with one of the darkest and meanest sounds in metal today. Get ready to be crushed.”….

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“We couldn’t be more excited as a band to sign with Ironclad Recording.  They have been loyal and honest with us from the very beginning, which is all too rare in this business. They are the only label that told us to keep getting heavier! What more can you ask for as a metal band?!” comments ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE….

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Derek Kerswill, drummer of Unearth, who recently played dates with ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE after his band finished their US tour with Testament, had this to say about the band;“ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE gave me this dirty, unsettling feeling… that was so emotionally dark that my insides were crawling out of me. I guess they stirred some genuine emotion in me because I FELT IT.”….

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The musical talents of ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE, featuring former members of Will Haven, The Abominable Iron Sloth, and Ghostride, can best be described as a racket akin to the gates of hell opening; mixing the sludgy, down-tuned heavy riffs of Crowbar and Eyehategod with the white noise assault of Cursed, and the death metal groove of Entombed. Guitarist/vocalist Cayle Hunter explains; “we don’t want to be faster or tougher than anybody else. We just want to make heavy music that is UNDENIABLE when you hear it.” ….

ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE’s, or A4A, monstrous new album Defeat will be released September 15^th, 2009 followed by a full touring schedule so be sure to keep up with the band on MySpace and Twitter for dates and other announcements…..

To get a taste of what A4A’s album Defeat will sound like, check out the new song ‘We Fell from the Bottom,’ which is currently up on the band’s MySpace page HERE….

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Current tour dates:….

7/01       Seattle, WA        The Rendezvous/Jewelbox Theater w/ Heiress….

7/02       Portland, OR      Tony V’s Garage….

7/03       Eugene, OR        Epic Space w/ Necryptic Jean Grey….

7/25       Chico, CA             The Senator 10 for $10 Tour w/ Poison the Well, Terror, Bane, and more….

8/07       Chico, CA             La Salles….

8/22       Eugene, OR        Epic Space w/ The Funeral Pyre….

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And so ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE could stay in constant communication with their fans, the band started up a Twitter account so make sure to follow the guys at www.twitter.com/AforA….

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ARMED FOR APOCALYPSE is:….

Kirk Williams - vocals/guitar….

Cayle Hunter - guitar/vocals….

Corey Vaspra - bass/vocals….

Nick Harris - drums

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I get it. MJ was (is?) essentially the most iconic figure in music ever… I realize he made Thriller. But honestly, attempting suicide over the dude’s death?! I find it so incredibly strange that somewhere on this planet prior to his death, people were sitting in their houses blasting Off The Wall 24/7 while worshiping a hair doll of Jacko. Do these people realize that he hasn’t made a socially relevant record since 95’s History? Do they forget the dude was a drug addict and happened to get into a shit-ton of law suites involving touching little boy’s pee-pees? I understand the man is well above iconic status, but to some degree M.J. died over a decade ago. Ehh, it’s all the same in the end… here’s what E! had to say.

Up to 12 heartbroken followers of the star have taken their lives - including one Brit — said the MJJcommunity website.

The startling claim came as it was revealed a Jackson lookalike in Russia cut his wrists after the star’s death was announced.

Gary Taylor, who runs MJJcommunity.com, said: “I know there has been an increase, I now believe the figure is 12. I believe there may have been one Briton who has taken their life.

“It is a serious situation that these people are going through but Michael Jackson would never want this. He would want them to live.”

Russian fan Pável Talaláyev was found bleeding heavily at his home in Moscow just hours after it was announced that Jackson had died.

But an ambulance crew found him in time on Friday and managed to save his life.

One of the ambulance men said: “He was in a terrible state and kept on saying: ‘It’s all the same to me. I’m going to kill myself. It’s the worst tragedy of my life and I don’t want to live any more. I don’t know why you saved my life, I want to be with him’.”

On brighter news, check out Dead Michael Jackson Jokes to pretty much confirm your ticket to hell… it’s totally worth it.

Today, one of the great voices American sports broadcasting has ever known passed away. Harry Kalas, man behind the mic for the Philadelphia Phillies, Eagles and NFL films, died suddenly at the age of 73 before a game in Washington DC. He was found unconscious on the floor of the broadcast booth around 12:30 Eastern, and pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Whether you lived in Philadelphia or not, Harry Kalas was the man, and I for one will miss just knowing he’s around. When I was in high school I  did some work for an MLB pitch-charting service who happened to have Curt Schilling as a client, and listening to Kalas give play-by-play at the Vet will unquestionably be the lasting memory of the many hours I spent watching tapes.

Check this brief video detailing the progression of Kalas’ career made prior to his death.
Jacob Sprecher

Tis’ a sad day in rock history, as Rock and Roll Hall of Famer and original member of Lynyrd Skynyrd passed away last night due to heart failures. Billy Powell was one of the founding members of the seminal band, and was one of the only survivors of the plane crash that lead to the deaths of the Van Zant brothers, among others.

A keyboardist for the southern rock bank Lynyrd Skynyrd has died at his northeast Florida home.

Orange Park Police Lt. Mark Cornett says 56-year-old keyboard player Billy Powell called 911 about 12:55 a.m. Wednesday saying he was having trouble breathing. Rescue crews performed CPR, but he was pronounced dead at 1:52 a.m.

Cornett says no foul play is suspected and an autopsy will not be performed.

He says Powell missed a Tuesday appointment with his doctor for a cardiac evaluation. A heart attack is suspected.

“To me, there’s nothing freer than a bird, you know, just flying wherever he wants to go. And, I don’t know, that’s what this country is all about, being free. I think everyone wants to be a free bird”
-Ronnie Van Zant, interview

Please feel free to add your own stats and comments!

Dear Red States:

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware,
that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85 percent of
America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that
Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to
want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to
fight, ask your evangelicals.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of America’s
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent
of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
League and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones
University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and
Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red States believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred –
unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in
9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher
morals then we lefties.

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too.

Peace out,

Blue States

This is probably the most useless blurb of information EVAR, but I thought it was worth noteriety.  House Peters Jr. died due to pneumonia on Wednesday at the age of 92.  Peters, aside from being the face of Mr. Clean Household Cleaners, was a western star, appeared in several episodes of Lassie and played Henchman Earl in the 1949 rendition of Batman and Robin.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The actor who played muscular “Mr. Clean” in hundreds of dirt-busting television commercials in the late 1950s and early 1960s, has died in Los Angeles at the age of 92, his family said.

House Peters Jr.’s bald-head, hoop earring and brawny arms was the original public face of Proctor & Gamble’s household cleaners with the jingle “Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean.” He died of pneumonia on Wednesday, his family said.

Born into an acting family, House Peters Jr. started his career in silent movies and later made a name for himself with character parts, often as the muscled villain, in dozens of TV and movie westerns including “Wagon Train”, “Gunsmoke” and “The Lone Ranger.”

He won a Golden Boot award in 2000 for his lifetime contribution to the western genre.