In what is interesting news to some, Ozzfest, which was once a lucrative touring festival, and later a “free”, half- assed touring festival, has now been downsized to a one day metalfest of sorts. My guess is bands finally realized that paying upwards of $80,000 to play for free on a nationwide tour is not worth it anymore. On the positive side, the lineup for one day show (held in Dallas, Texas at Pizza Hut Park) will feature performances from some pretty impressive bands; Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Serj Tankian, Hellyeah, Jonathan Davis and others. Kids that love outdated music and washed up, used-to-be-in-a-big-band-but-have-to-play-less-important-solo-music are stoked.

Cure for cancer? Teleportation device? Dan Taylor limited edition iPod equipped with the entire Saves The Day catalog pre-installed?

Fuck no! Gibson guitars has invented a system of advanced electronics that tune the guitar for you! GAH!
Strait up, this is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. The system uses piezo pickups to analyze the wavelengths, then transmits the signal wirelessly to the tuning pegs which have small motors in them.
I know what you’re thinking, “But Dallas, what about when your playing? How does it know when to stop tuning and start rocking?” Well, if you quit your bitchen’ I would tell you about it. The guitars have a push/ pull pot installed into the volume knob. It also claims that you can hit all 6 strings and the guitar will be in tune in a couple of seconds.
Your saying, “But Dallas, the wireless signals will cause on stage interference!” STFU! They’ve covered it!

As the strings are played, the Powertune processor compares their actual frequencies with the desired notes and sends instructions–tighten the string this much, loosen the string by that much–to tuning pegs equipped with strong, tiny servo motors mounted on the back of the guitar’s head. Because onstage interference could potentially degrade a wireless signal, the system uses the strings themselves to send the signal.

Apparently the system will start being integrated into their flagship models soon. More details to come, I’ll hook you up with em baby.

I would say we need some of these nude suits here at the Synthesis, but I don’t want to get fired for sexual harassment. Again. Plus, I dont think I want to see Dallas or Video Matt’s cock and nuts. Again. I mean…wait, what?

We haven’t mentioned our good friends at The Sword in a while, but like a dragon awakening from an eon-long slumber, the stoner rock quartet is ready to once again ravage the countryside. The Sword is taking a short break from writing their new record to play The Wall of Sound Festival along with Explosions in the Sky, Midlake, Pinback, Ghostland Observatory and many others. If you’re in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex on Sept. 22nd (tomorrow!), don’t pass this up. 40 bands on three stages for just $30. Tickets available here

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