[The following article was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Julia Murphy. She can be reached at ninjatreehugger@gmail.com. She likes it when you ride a bike.]

Land Of The Gun

A gun is a tool, a tool of extraction. It is made to extract life from the body. Whether or not you use it for this purpose, this is what it has been engineered for. There are other tools of similar purpose, simpler and less remote, with a reliance on the inherent physical strength of the tool’s user. However, none of these other tools inspire the same cult or cultural worship that the gun does.
The ability to kill something, a very specific something, from a great distance is a manifestation of power. It also allows the luxury of ignorance. If you choose, you can cap something from 500 yards (theoretically, if you’re an ace shooter) and ignore it completely. “That’s good enough for me,” you might say. “I don’t need to walk up on that shit and see the whole Faces of Death routine.”
I sort of like guns, but it’s not an amicable friendship; it’s unwholesome. I don’t want to kill shit, I surely don’t. But I have to say, I’d love to be able to stop something that was about to eat or otherwise harm me.
However, this is sort of where it falls apart. I’ve made it through 38 years without packin’. Shit happens. If you have guns — if you carry and use and love the shit out of guns — how does that change how you act? Does it make you just a little more cocky knowing you get to play, in the words of PC Danny Butterman, “Judge Judy and executioner”? Does it make you a little less willing to negotiate?

Recently an article on Yahoo Green featured interviews with some folks who are lucky enough to have homes to homestead about their preparations for what they see as the societal effects of peak oil. The article cites stockpiling weapons as one of the actions these folks are taking “to defend their supplies against desperate crowds of people who didn’t prepare.”
We’re used to thinking in scarcity and fear. It’s what our society requires in order for us to keep our heads down and keep working. The option, as presented by the Man: “Anarchy, which would mean chaos and mob rules,” when the anarchists I know are some of the most responsible and respectful people I’ve ever met. Interestingly, Ammon Hennacy, anarchist homeboy of the late great Utah Phillips, had a jailhouse conversion with the Jeebus and, follow the logic: True Christianity means pacifism, and governments constantly make war, so to be a real Christian you have to be an anarchist. Interesting.

More leftist rhetoric after the jump. (more…)

The Lord Our Righteousness Church is a tiny apocalyptic offshoot of the Seventh Day Adventist Church and tallies about 50 lunatics out in “Strong City,” New Mexico. These people follow a man named Wayne Bent, also known as Michael Travesser, who claims to be the messiah. The group believed that the world was coming to an end October 31st, 2007 (what a disappointing Halloween that must have been). Apparently Bent was informed by God himself in 2000 that he was indeed the second coming of Christ, the “Messiah.”

The LORC was documented in a film by National Geographic called Inside A Cult, in which Bent admitted that female members of the church lie naked with him, though without sex. Many followers have split over the years due to Bent’s apparent insistence on sexual matters regarding underage girls, such as sleeping with virgins. Bent has now been arrested on sex charges after two young girls and a boy were removed from the church last month. In response, the enlightened Wayne Bent had this to say:

“Jesus had not committed any crimes, so the authorities had to invent some crimes to crucify him over. It is the same for me also. I have committed no crimes, but many crimes are being imagined and concocted in the minds of men to try and kill me again. Men are so stupid, though, for they do not know that they cannot kill Spirit.”

And when questioned as to why women were required to lay naked with him, a more direct assertion: “It was God. God came down and told them to do it.” Sounds like Wayne Bent is a perfectly reasonable individual. Perhaps while he spends Christmas in jail this year his followers will send him that elusive sack of marbles he’s been searching for.

According to the Norwegian tabloid Verdens Gang, Kaja Bordevich Ballo, daughter of Norwegian Parliament member Olav Gunnar Ballo, reportedly took her own life [English translation] after scoring poorly on a Scientology personality test. There is some skepticism as to the validity of the report. The results of the test were time-stamped just hours before Ballo’s death, but this could merely be an excuse to cover up the real cause of death, given that Kaja comes from a politically motivated family.

As you may have heard, the personality test, also called the Oxford Capacity Analysis (OCA) or American Personality Analysis, is offered free by the Church of Scientology and comprises an integral part of their recruitment efforts. The test however, has been extensively criticized as it almost exclusively yields negative results. Here are some testimonials from people who have taken the test:
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VIGILANTISM. What a divisive concept. On the surface it seems like a just and righteous cause - righting wrongs where the powers that be do nothing. But it’s also a scary concept. That gang of torch-wielding villagers is powerful in their chaos, and once feeding into their own frenzy they cannot be stopped. Sure he looked scary and gross on the outside, but did Frankenstein’s monster really have it coming?

Regardless of whether you believe Scientology is a CULT or a legitimate RELIGION, whether it should be left alone to its own devices or kicked on its shellback, belly up for the feasting, is good for debate. However, while I personally believe that the Church of Scientology is a scam (…if anyone tells you they have THE ANSWER they are JUST TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING, you silly-ass MARK. And the same can be said of organized Christianity, but that’s a debate for another day…) and the original concept of Anonymous’ war on CoS has merit, Anonymous’ attack on the Church of Scientology is, sadly, doomed to fail. The Church will not be brought down, its members will not be enlightened to the hierarchal brain-washing and its more nefarious designs, and a Utopian future where the everyman has power over the corporate superstructure will not come to be. Sorry brah.

This is what I believe will happen before Anonymous topples the Church of Scientology.

I call it the Schrodinger’s lolCat complex: No one likes a Clever Dick. This is especially true for an elite group of Clever Dicks that think they are more clever than every other Dick. Once an original idea enters the mainstream of popular internet culture, the group who originated it (such as those who frequent sites like 4chan) is quick to abandon their memes, in-jokes and conquests for lulz.
For instance, the fact that I used the term “lulz” means it’s already on the way out, soon to be replaced with a new portmanteau or new term altogether. Or another good example: lolcats. According to ED, the original creators coined the term Caturday, which took off in the Clever Dick society, eventually filtering down to the pop culture as lolcats. Now that your 44-year-old aunt in Wisconsin has seen and chortled at a lolcat, it’s fair to say the joke is over. The originators are over it, and a bit bitter about it too.
I imagine this same scenario playing out with Anonymous’ war on Scientology. It’s a funny, great and arguably just idea; one that will (and already has) spread into the pop culture with mercurial speed. And while its main proponents are still the revolutionary-minded counter-terrorist vigilante types, as the message spreads and more and more people get involved, the message and spirit will get diluted until the Anonymous originators see a diminishing return of lulz and tire of the war. At which point, drained of creativity, the war will grow to stalemate and sooner than later, the phenomenon will dissipate, relegated to the tomes of memes that are “so 1,000 years ago.” Once you put Schrodinger’s cat in that steel box it’s already as good as dead. By examining something you fundamentally change it, and although a cat is fine too, nobody even gives two shits about Schrodinger’s lolCat anymore.

On to the next silly internet thing. Here’s to progress. Thanks for the corruptions, Anonymous.

The Church of Scientology has caused many a media stir over the past few years. This is in full due to certain high profile members making public their beliefs. The “Church” itself has in fact existed since the early 1950’s, pushed along by founding kook L. Ron Hubbard. This small minority of religious belief made but a peep (with exception to the failure of Hubbard’s “E-meter” which was found to have no medical value in 1971) till the likes of Tom Cruise began boasting their faith. In wake of the storm kicked up by Cruises’ recent YouTube testimonial, an internet based group referring to themselves simply as “Anonymous” has declared war on Scientology. In the past week Anonymous has even managed to crash the Church’s website, and vows to take further action.

My question is this: who gives a damn about Scientology? A quick perusing of the Church’s official website makes one simple truth very clear; Scientology is a cult. In reality, the words “religion” and “cult” have eerily similar definitions, but “cult” is typically applied to groups smaller in number and further from mainstream religious thought. Double standard as that may be, I will happily make light of the fact that Scientology is nothing more than a simplistic oddity. Their values read like an Idiot’s Guide To Self-Help and harp upon ambiguous universalities. The maxims and aphorismatic nonsense spouted by Scientologists is worth little heed, especially in the case of Tom Cruise. This is not a dangerous sect; it is a fringe set of beliefs with little to no place in today’s world. Scientology will never amount to anything more than an Entertainment Tonight bulletin, and perhaps therein lies the problem. Because these beliefs are so unimportant and harmless, and because “religious” zealots like Tom Cruise are deep within the public eye, Scientology makes for good clean headline bashing. No real harm or danger will result from their repeated trouncing.

So hey, Anonymous, while your efforts are duly noted, maybe just leave this group be. Maybe find a real enemy to attack. Scientology means little in the scope of society’s problems. It’s just another media fad.

UPDATE: For more information on Anonymous LURK MOAR

UPDATE: As I should have stated earlier: although I may strongly disagree with a Scientologist’s take on life and death, they still have a right to express their beliefs like anyone else.