Frontman and singer of Joy Division, Ian Curtis, had his memorial stone stolen. Curtis committed suicide in 1980 and the epitaph on the stone read “Love Will Tear Us Apart” - the British bands most popular and famous song.

The stone was taken from Macclesfield Crematorium in northern England earlier this week. The stone brought many fans and tourists from around the world to pay respects and leave messages behind.

Curtis had a dark life; reflected in his painful lyrics. He struggled with balancing the band with his home life, having epilepsy and falling in love with another woman. Local officials are hoping it will be returned soon.

A drunk 64-year-old Australian man was found asleep on a highway in northern Australia in his motorized wheelchair. The police charged him with drunk driving. Wheeling under the influence? I’ve heard of biking under the influence but only here in the drunkie town that is Chico, Cali.

Police officers saw the man slumped over himself in his wheelchair at 10 a.m. on Friday morning. He must have started early. He was sitting on an exit lane and cars were swerving around him. He was breathalized and blew a 0.301, more than six times over the legal driving limit. He must have started REALLY early. Understandable because the man had to make a nine mile trip to a buddy’s house.

For your info: other classes of vehicles subject to drunk driving laws include horses, bicycles and motorized wheelchairs. So I guess stick with a hand operated wheelchair and get shitfaced.

Victoria Gotti, daughter of the late Gambino crime family boss “Dapper Don” John Gotti and reality television star of “Growing Up Gotti” has been sued by HarperCollins Publishers. The company gave Gotti a $70,000 advance for her memoir that was never written and the money was not returned. Gotti signed a contract with HarperCollins in 2005 to publish two books, one of which was her memoir.

Court papers were filed Thursday at New York State Court for the book that is long overdue. Gotti told HarperCollins Publishers LLC that she was terminating their contract last September and that she will return the money when her literary agent, Frank Weiman, signs her another deal. Gotti made the book deal with former publishing boss Judith Regan. Gotti did not hold up her end because Regan and editors she had formed the contract with left HarperCollins.

A 50-year-old man in Tampa, Florida hired a nude maid to clean his house for $100 per hour. I guess hiring a naked maid can really take you to the cleaners. After the woman, Kenna DiMartini, took her clothes off and did some dusting she then managed to rob him of $40,000 of his wife’s jewelry. What I want to know is where she put all the jewels?

The man said he left the woman alone in his bedroom to clean. Bad move, buddy. The man’s wife was out of town caring for her sick mother when he hired the maid on Craigslist.com. She is now seeking divorce due to the incident.

Moral: Don’t hire a klepto naked sexy maid? And if you’re going to spend $100/hour then wouldn’t you at least stay in the room and watch?

Film legend Brigitte Bardot was convicted in Paris, France today for racial hatred and provoking discrimination because she wrote that Muslims are responsible for destroying France. A French anti-racism group, MRAP,  filed a suit against Bardot for a letter she sent to Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy - who is now the president.  She explained her distress due to Muslim Aid el-Kebir Bardot who celebrated by slaughtering and eating sheep.

Bardot is an animal rights activist and feels she should be able to voice her opinion but French anti-racism laws do not allow discrimination on religious/racial grounds. She was ordered to pay $23,325 fine to the Paris court and $1,555 in damages to MRAP. Bardot’s lawyer said there is a possibility of appealing the case but Bardot has been convicted four times prior to this case for racial hatred.

Bardot will not be silenced in her defense of animal rights.

Former child actress, Tatum O’Neal, was arrested in NYC due to suspicion of buying drugs yesterday. She was seen buying crack cocaine from a homeless vendor in Manhattan.  O’Neal is 44 years old and won an Oscar at age 10 for her role in “Paper Moon.” She was the youngest person to win a competitive Academy Award. She also starred in the original “Bad News Bears” when she became the highest paid child actor during that time.

Her success has been halted due to her substance abuse problems and was addicted to heroin in the past, which she discusses in her memoir titled “Paper Life.” She explained to the police that she was only researching for a part and changed the story once they found crack, cocaine and a crack pipe during the search. She then said that it was her first time relapsing and begged to be let go. She will be facing her charges in a court of law soon.

O’Neal dissed Britney Spears in an interview, saying she needs help battling her addictions. Oops.