I think Red Bull Cola Is a Pretty Cool Guy

Eh tastes pretty much like Coca-Cola and doesn’t afraid of anything:

Red Bull Cola or simply Cola is a premium cola beverage from Red Bull GmbH, makers of Red Bull energy drink. It is being sold as a cola drink. Unlike Coca-Cola and Pepsi, Red Bull Cola is “100% natural” and sold at a premium price. The product is the first major brand extension since Red Bull Sugar-Free was introduced in 2003. It should be noted that Red Bull Cola is a “Cola from Red Bull”, not a “Red Bull that tastes like Cola”. It does not contain taurine - the key component of RedBull. As stated on the can, it is manufactured not by RedBull itself but in Switzerland by Rauch Trading AG for Red Bull GmbH.

Besides not containing taurine, Red Bull cola only has 45 milligrams of caffeine, about half as much as Red Bull proper. However, it does have Coca Leaf up in there, so you can tell your friends that you’re drinking LIQUID COCAINE ZOMGGGGGGG. Anyways, unless you live in Vegas or Atlanta, or are otherwise badass enough to be considered a player in the energy drink game, you can’t get that shit yet. But it’ll be there in the mix soon enough and you can try it for yourself. In

Coca-Cola University

It would appear that Coca-Cola is better at manipulation and propaganda than Fox News.I do have to hand it to Coca-Cola, the ability manipulate almost anyones perception through means of mass media is nothing easy to come by. How does one Coca-Colonize a country, usurp water sources from 3rd world communities, promote misleading Health statements, exploit Child Laborers, destroy the environment and commit a large list of crimes that even Charles Manson would find hard to meet, all while still convincing people to give you money for that same product. It is rather perplexing. “We just reamed you, your family and friends in the behind, wanna buy a Coke?”

An excerpt from Coca-ColaBottling.co.id from an article entitled Someone told me that sugar in soft drinks make kids hyperactive possibily demonstrates methods used to control perceptions:

Sugar causing hyperactivity is a myth that is believed by many people but it is not true. After a large amount of studies, it is clear that sugar does not cause children to be hyperactive. One reason why children may seem more active after consuming a sugar-filled product is because their environment raises their energy levels. Eating cake at a birthday, drinking soft drinks with a group of friends, eating candy at a party, these activities make kids very excited, regardless what types of food they consume.

The source of the above statement

Maybe these studies were funded by Coca-Cola, the Food Lobbiests or the FDA. Regardless if this particular study was biased or not, the article falls to cite the variables and circumstances of the testing. Nowhere on that site does it mention anything about extended sugar usage, age groups or controlled groups. And I mean, the scientist who conducted the studies looks like this:

Strupp I am not one to judge someone based on looks, but it looks to me like someone scanned a high-school yearbook from 1968. Does this person even exist? I mean… come on!

Um, I vote for a second opinion:

Refined (processed) sugars may have some effect on children’s activity. Because refined sugars and carbohydrates enter the bloodstream quickly, they produce rapid fluctuations in blood glucose levels. This might trigger adrenaline and make a child more active. Sometimes, falling adrenaline levels bring on a period of decreased activity

Source: Medline Plus Medical Encyclopedia (nih.gov)

Umm… Let’s forget the fact that ‘Might’ or ‘May’ is in every other sentence for a moment (because maybe its written like that by pressure of the Food Lobby or other entity of interest. Just a theory) It is obvious that this more credible study states that yes the increased consumption of sugar may indeed cause hyperactivity, while Coca-Colas renditions say Not true.

The grammatical content and accuracy of any study could be argued for hours. So for the sake of salvaging this post and staying on coarse with it’s original intention, I ask you you check out some content which might be considered by some as corporate propaganda? I assure you it can be frightfully entertaining.

Including such favorites as:
“How can I get my child to drink more?”
and
“Drinking right is the key to exercising right!”
and
“Do you know that the only way our brains get energy is through sugar?”
And we mustn’t forget…
“I’ve heard that soda is not good for our health, is this true?”

Maybe the biggest mistake mankind has made in the past 20 years is to trust global corporations with their education.

Wthout further adieu, I include a satirical image, something my satirical/controversial posts never lack…

coca-colonization
Note: It took me almost an hour to locate this photo, maybe the Coca-Colonizers stripped the internet of all dissent.

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