Hear of the FDA Globalization act of 2008? Probably not, CNN and FOX news are far too busy covering slaves fighting for their freedom and fake politricks. Just so you know, all is not well in our so-called ‘capitalist’ society. Since earlier this year the FDA has been trying to pass legislation to require any company who manufactures cosmetics, such as soap, shampoo, make-up, etc, to pay a minimum of $12,000 yearly in fees, and to file ridiculous amounts of paperwork for every product and new ingredient added to any existing product. If passed, this could mean the death of small business, especially in the natural and organic cosmetics market.

“But Imperialist, shouldn’t they be required to do this? For our safety”

Sure, but creating laws that would cripple the development of small business in a time of recession is asking for larger, more powerful companies, to impose higher prices and literally monopolize the market. It is taking it a step too far, and it’s intentions are obvious. It will leave us with the choice of covering our bodies in lauryl sulfates and ammonium phosphates, or simply not showering to avoid toxic contamination and smelling like a dirty politician.

Sign the Petition and make noise on myspace/facebook/whatever

Dr Bronners may be safe, they probably make enough to cover the fees and a system to handle the paperwork. But say goodbye to that wide variety of yummy soaps and shampoos available at your local natural foods store.

I’m suree Jeffree won’t care, i hear he/she/whatever uses sulphuric acid for his/her/whatever’s eyebrows. (off subject)

I just saw a video on CNN detailing the various emotions that the Hulk and his ex-wife are feeling about their split. A pair of “analysts” waxed on the possible repercussions of Linda Hogan dating a 19 year old, while Hulk spoke to Larry King about his feelings.

This entire fascination with the Hogan family is sick and it doesn’t make any sense at all. Hulk Hogan hasn’t been relevant in the field of wrestling for 15 years and why anybody would ever find his family’s daily life interesting is beyond me. He’s just a yahoo egomaniac with a ten cent head. Who fucking cares who Hulk Hogan dates? Who gives a shit as to whether his wife is screwing a teen? His troubled son is just another dude in jail, and as for the daughter…well, FUCK IT.

In a perfect world, the entire family would be sent to prison on charges of gross vanity.

I heard something about a rare black watermelon being sold in Tokyo for about $6,000, so I had to do a bit of research, right?

From CNN:

TOKYO, Japan (CNN) — There’s nothing better than a sweet, juicy watermelon on a hot summer’s day, right?
But what if you had to pay six grand for it?
A marine products dealer in Japan plunked down a record $6,125 (650,000 yen) Friday for a black Densuke watermelon — grown only on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido.
Premium melons regularly go for eye-popping amounts there. Only three years ago, someone shelled out about $3,000 for one.

But man, doing a google image search for “black watermelon” turned up some embarrassing results. I never quite got the racist connotations of black Americans and watermelon. I mean, I just don’t get it. I am a Jew, and I love the hell out of watermelon. Can someone explain that one to me?

(side note: It also turns out, that I am now allowed to eat giraffes, as they are considered kosher. I will probably eat 1,000 black watermelons before I ever eat giraffe.)

The race relations connotations in this post might seem staggering - i.e. Jews, blacks, watermelons, giraffes - but it all comes together when you consider the Lemba. Think about it.

Among the forgotten details of 9/11, is the mysterious white jet filmed circling over the White House as reported by news outlets such as CNN and FOX who had reporters on the ground. Who was in this jet, and more importantly what were they doing? And I guess most important of all, why do I care?? It’s a Monday and I’m bored, that’s why.