Words of note in this clip: “Brave.” “Survival Story.” “Scoot.”

Brave Jessica? Someone please explain the bravery here. Then I realized it: IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!

Anyone else feel life eating some fucking McDonald’s?

Dolly Parton is apparently not too thrilled about being the subject of one of Howard Stern’s trademark audio book remixes:

Country legend Dolly Parton isn’t flattered by a recent Howard Stern parody, in which the satellite radio host mashed up Parton quotes to make it sound as if the singer were spewing offensive and racist remarks. In a post on her official website, Parton is quoted as saying she has “never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated” in her life, and even hints and at potentially suing the shock jock.

Check out the clip in question below. I think it’s funnier than shit, but I’m also a fucking asshole.