As described in a post on his own web site that has since been deleted, Chiodos / Cinematic Sunrise frontman Craig Owens apparently almost overdosed on drugs last night, and has since checked himself in to a mental health facility:

so, after an attempted overdose early yesterday morning, i found myself awake in the emergency room around 8 - 12 hours later.

however, don’t worry about me, i’m fine. i am being checked into a mental clinic beginning tomorrow at 8 am.

i’d like to apologize to everyone at Power Chord Academy, for me not being able to make it to speak to all of the kids tomorrow in Chicago. i promise to make it up, the best that i can and hopefully will be able to reschedule the entire event.

wish me luck, and let’s hope that i learn from this, and that i am able get out very soon.

craig.

Yeah, apart from our award winning blog* I know we’re supposed to put out a magazine called “Synthesis,” either on news stands or distributed digitally. Sorry about that. We’ve been too busy drinking beer and playing with toys.

I mean, breaking collectible action figures while improv-ing skits about economic stimulus checks and kosher giraffes is important work and all, but…

*If you call your blog “award winning” enough times, it starts to actually become so. Or at least move into the gray area between fiction and fact.

President Bish better have my money. I’ve heard that “check is in the mail” shit before. hell, I probably said it a time or two. Well, our president says that they’re ahead of schedule. President Bish, in an attempt to raise his public profile and prevent a lynching once he leaves office in January, is giving us, the American taxpayer (well…most of us), a little payback…in the good way. because, you know, we’re not already in debt for trillions of dollars. Schwarzenegger’s going to cut funding to California schools to the tune o 4 billion dollars. Here’s Your Mad Money! Yay! America! Fuck Yeah! Where’s my money, Bish!?

President Bish Quoted From Washington Post:

Good morning. It’s obvious our economy is in a slowdown. Fortunately, we recognized the signs early and took action. I signed an economic growth package that will provide tax rebates to millions of American families and workers to boost consumer spending. On Monday, the Treasury Department will begin delivering the first of these tax rebates by direct deposit. During the first week alone nearly 7.7 million Americans will receive their tax rebates electronically. Then on May 9th, the IRS will begin mailing checks to millions more across America.

Wesley Snipes is pissed. I get $600. The world is still fucked. This whole thing is retarded and will not work. But thanks for the cash anyway. More good news Idiocy after the jump. (more…)