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So the thing about the internet that kind of sucks is that, you get in the habit of being able to find out basically anything you need to find out. Especially when you’re kind of a Google Sav like me, you can literally mine for data on any subject and come up with something EXCEPT, it seems: THE GODDAMN COCKSUCKING SLEEPYTIME BEAR. I mean, to me, Sleepytime Tea and it’s mascot are as ubiquitous as Pepsi or Campbell’s soup or whatever. I’ve been drinking that shit since I was born, nahmean? So you would think, in this day and age when everything that is anything is online and searchable, that finding out who originally drew said bear, and where I can get at some fucking original prints to hang on my mantle to worship in front of as I drink my Sleepytime every night would be easy, but NO! I can’t find fucking jack shit. Wikipedia doesn’t even have a Sleepytime Tea page. WTF! They have a Wikipedia page for fucking every stupid thing on the entire planet, including two for DICK CHEESE. Celestial Seasonings, the compay that makes Sleepytime, even has a whole gallery devoted to the artists who draw their packaging. But did they have anything on Sleepytime? FUCK NO. They also have product page devoted to Sleepytime….but NO ARTIST CREDIT. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Anyway, what I’m trying to say, if you’re the person responsible for the genius that is the Sleepytime Bear, fucking get at me ASAP I want to be IN YOUR LIFE.