When you think about eating cats, the first race of men that comes to mind are of course those legendary gormandizers of animals small and tall, the Chinese. However, it seems Peruvians have gone a step further than their trans-Pacific brethren by hosting a yearly, two-day Cat Eating Festival:

The ‘Gastronomical Festival of the Cat’ sees townsfolk in Canete, near Lima, feast on the fluffy pets for two days. They believe that eating cat burgers – and fried cat legs and tails – can cure bronchial disease. It is also believed that feline meat serves as an aphrodisiac. The cats are bred especially for this festival – which takes place at the end of September on the Day of Santa Ifigenia.

If you speak Spanish, watch this video and translate it in the replies so we can all drink in the lulz of Peruvians housing Cat leg burgers.

You can’t step to these cats when it comes to freestyling.

I guess since they’re not throwing them off of cliffs no one in the internet land will really care all that much, but the Chinese Government is rounding up cats by the thousands and shipping them off to “death camps” in attempt to clean up Beijing for the upcoming Olympics:

Cat owners, terrified by the disease warning, are dumping their pets in the streets to be picked up by special collection teams. Welfare groups estimate that tens of thousands have been collected in the past few months.

Paranoia is so intense that six stray cats -including two pregnant females - were beaten to death with sticks by teachers at a Beijing kindergarten, who feared they might pass illnesses to the children.

Don’t let them get away with this!!!!!!!!1111 In America we never kill animals for any reason at all, especially not dogs and cats! We treat our animals with the utmost dignity and humanity at all times! Write them hate mail at:

Chinese People
China
Across the Ocean, Asia

After that man lets hit KFC for some wings bro!

In the midst of what is quickly becoming Puppygate 2008, it is interesting (to me at least) to note that, many of the same internet-dwellers that believe 9/11 was an engineered event meant to shift the will of the general population in favor of a certain socio-political viewpoint, are so quick to vouch for the authenticity of a grainy, unsourced YouTube clip. I’m not saying its NOT real, however, I’m definitely not gonna say it is. As the above video points out, remember not so long ago the whole “bird shitting in the reporters mouth” clip that was a supposed outtake of real news footage? Well it turned out to be fake, after of course, getting a few million views on YouTube and getting linked by Huffington Post along with every other blog, most of whom are probably posting this puppy video as we speak. Like I said, maybe this video is real. Maybe I’m totally off base. But I’d rather be the guy who was wrong about it being some engineered viral meme, than the guy that’s wrong but can’t go back and unpost a United State’s Marine’s mother’s home address, or worse yet, threats of physical violence.

And even if it is real, Who are we to decry the senseless death of one animal, when everyday in every single city in our entire country, who legions of animals are routinely slaughtered, for food, because they’re “pests”, or because they happen to walk onto our roads? Or how about the 3-4 million dogs and cats euthanized each year at United States animal shelters. Where’s the outcry over that? How many hundreds of thousands of puppies do you think that includes? Why is no one storming the gates of these humane societies and demanding justice?

If we want to punish someone for purposely mistreating animals why don’t we start with the people we can at least prove are doing it? Such as the factory farms that produce the majority of America’s meat? Pigs, which are known to be as intelligent, if not more so than dogs are just one of the animals that suffer unimaginable deaths every single day on their way to our sandwiches, tacos, etc:

Pigs are very clean animals who take to the mud primarily to cool off and evade flies. They are just as friendly and gregarious as dogs, and according to Professor Donald Broom at the Cambridge University Veterinary School, “They have the cognitive ability to be quite sophisticated. Even more so than dogs and certainly three-year-olds.” Mother pigs in factory farms in the U.S. live most of their lives in individual crates that are 7 feet long and 2 feet wide. They display signs of extreme boredom and stress, such as biting the bars of their cages and gnashing their teeth. Their piglets are taken away three weeks after birth and packed into pens until they are singled out to be raised for breeding or for meat. Like chickens and turkeys, pigs are genetically manipulated and pumped full of drugs, and many become crippled under their own weight. Although pigs are naturally affable and social animals, the confinement of these crowded pens causes neurotic behaviors such as cannibalism and tail-biting, so farmers use pliers to break off the ends of piglets’ teeth and cut off their tails without any painkillers.

Makes being thrown off a cliff sound pretty humane.

Burger and Fries is not a very happy cat. Don’t worry though, for once this video does not involved any kind of animal getting its throat cut or getting skinned alive or anything. Its just a cat thats hella bummed on life. As opposed to the below cat, who seems pretty pumped about life, even after getting its ears pruned off. Maybe its just glad that its a cat in Japan, as opposed to a dolphin. We know what those fuckers do to dolphins.

The cat has just become the new ultimate party accessory thanks to good ol’ North Korea. Scientists there have successfully cloned cats genetically modified to glow under ultra-violet light. This first successful attempt at cloning a genetically modified feline has fostered hope that one day endangered species of cats can be cloned as well. But what’s really important is that now you can have black-light parties with all your favorite local cat ladies. I mean, these cats frickin’ glow. Who wouldn’t want one?