Yeah he’s got ball(s), but does does Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong have enough ball(s) to take the Boston Marathon championship away from one long-legged Kenyan?

No. Robert Cheruiyot took that shit for the fourth time with 2 hours, 7 minutes, 46 (32 seconds slower than his record. Guess he was just playing with the crowd). Armstrong was running for charity.

From WBZTV

Armstrong finished the course in 2 hours, 50 minutes and 58 seconds…

Armstrong is raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which pursues an agenda focused on cancer prevention, access to screening and care, the improvement of the quality of life for cancer survivors, and an investment in research.

“I’m excited to be here,” told WBZ’s Steve Burton before the race.

“If I broke 3 hours I’d be happy. I’m not in perfect shape, but the point is to get out here and enjoy it and really be part of the atmosphere and the ambiance of this great marathon.”

Armstrong’s foundation has 50 runners in the race. They hope to raise $250,000.

Motherfucking Bill Motherfucking Hicks.

First things first. If you don’t know who this man is, type the name”Bill Hicks” into YouTube. Then TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, GO TO THE NEAREST VIDEO STORE and RENT Sane Man, then BUY this:

This is what I fell asleep to (somehow) the night before setting off for SXSW. I did manage to fall asleep, but man, hard to do with Bill’s ranting brilliance. Raised in Houston, TX by conservative parents, he soon fostered one of the most brilliant minds in modern philosophy. But he used stand up comedy as the sugar coating. Totally brilliant. He’s coughing up a phlegm gem in heaven right now. Cause of Death? Not ironical, cancer. He was a heavy smoker. I’ll light one for Bill in a second, but in the meantime, watch this shit.

Oh, and did I mention, everything Bill said in the late ’80s/early ’90s eerily repeated itself over the last eight years. Talk about prophetic. That’s some staying power.

If you live anywhere on the eastern seaboard, you should find your way to Philadelphia on February 8th to go to this show, featuring hometown acts mewithoutYou and Papertrigger, a benefit for my friend, and legendary Tour Manager / FOH Guy / Photographer Josh Bender’s father, Paul, who is currently battling cancer. For anyone else, everywhere else, you can go here to read about Paul Bender’s situation and what you can do to help.

Remember the other day when I was going on about Aqua Dots and Bindeez, and how China is poisoning our children in an attempt to wipe out our future generations? More lead paint products were recalled today.

Name of Product: Children’s Fashion Sunglasses

Units: About 51,000

Importer/Distributor: Dolgencorp Inc., of Goodlettsville, Tenn.

Hazard: The yellow surface paint on the sunglasses may contain excessive levels of lead, violating the federal lead paint standard.Description: The recall involves yellow children’s sunglasses. No other colors of sunglasses are included in this recall. The word “CHINA” is printed on the left side of the frame. The UPC #400007860896 and words “Fashion Sunglasses” and “Time to Play Every Day” are printed on the product’s red hangtag.

Sold at: Dollar General stores nationwide from March 2005 through October 2007 for $1.

Manufactured in: China

YOU SEE!!!!!! China is seriously out to get us.