Natasha Shneider, the righteous woman on keys from Queens of the Stone Age, lost her battle to cancer on July the 2nd. Shneider had a long musical career, that included work with Chris Cornell, Louis XIV, Eleven, and I’m sure about a hundred other kickass bands that most of us will never even hear about. Shneider was 52 years old.

We have the exclusive audio of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s official reaction to the recent cancer diagnosis of Senator Ted Kennedy, the uncle of his wife Maria Schriver:

Audio from the Governor’s Press Conference

Ok, ok…enough horsing around. Here’s the real press conference:

Senator Edward Kennedy announced today that the seizure he suffered this weekend was found to be caused by a cancerous brain tumor:

A cancerous brain tumor caused the seizure Sen. Edward M. Kennedy suffered over the weekend, doctors said Tuesday in a grim diagnosis for one of American politics’ most enduring figures. “He remains in good spirits and full of energy,” the doctors for the 76-year-old Massachusetts Democrat said in a statement.

They said tests conducted after the seizure showed a tumor in Kennedy’s left parietal lobe. Preliminary results from a biopsy of the brain identified the cause of the seizure as a malignant glioma, they said.

Goes to show you that no matter what you do, you’re gonna die eventually and nothing will matter anyway. So really, why even try? Why not just sit around and eat pizza and get wasted and do nothing with your life, that way when you die there’s less shit for people to forget about you.

The Tasmanian Devil, an Australian carnivorous marsupial, has unfortunately been announced as a member of the endangered species list. Due to a cancer that has furiously attacked the animals face, the Devil has seen it’s numbers drop by near 60 percent in recent years. Wildlife experts estimate that the population could possibly be as low as 20,000 at this point. A sad thought for fans of the animal, and the cartoon.

Yeah he’s got ball(s), but does does Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong have enough ball(s) to take the Boston Marathon championship away from one long-legged Kenyan?

No. Robert Cheruiyot took that shit for the fourth time with 2 hours, 7 minutes, 46 (32 seconds slower than his record. Guess he was just playing with the crowd). Armstrong was running for charity.

From WBZTV

Armstrong finished the course in 2 hours, 50 minutes and 58 seconds…

Armstrong is raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which pursues an agenda focused on cancer prevention, access to screening and care, the improvement of the quality of life for cancer survivors, and an investment in research.

“I’m excited to be here,” told WBZ’s Steve Burton before the race.

“If I broke 3 hours I’d be happy. I’m not in perfect shape, but the point is to get out here and enjoy it and really be part of the atmosphere and the ambiance of this great marathon.”

Armstrong’s foundation has 50 runners in the race. They hope to raise $250,000.

Motherfucking Bill Motherfucking Hicks.

First things first. If you don’t know who this man is, type the name”Bill Hicks” into YouTube. Then TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, GO TO THE NEAREST VIDEO STORE and RENT Sane Man, then BUY this:

This is what I fell asleep to (somehow) the night before setting off for SXSW. I did manage to fall asleep, but man, hard to do with Bill’s ranting brilliance. Raised in Houston, TX by conservative parents, he soon fostered one of the most brilliant minds in modern philosophy. But he used stand up comedy as the sugar coating. Totally brilliant. He’s coughing up a phlegm gem in heaven right now. Cause of Death? Not ironical, cancer. He was a heavy smoker. I’ll light one for Bill in a second, but in the meantime, watch this shit.

Oh, and did I mention, everything Bill said in the late ’80s/early ’90s eerily repeated itself over the last eight years. Talk about prophetic. That’s some staying power.