This is a bummer for Matt Jones.

When hanging out in Arkansas, it would probably be best not to do hard drugs in public. Unfortunately, this thought did not occur to the Jacksonville Jaguar’s wide receiver, who was busted chopping up lines in his car early Thursday morning. Police also found a jar with “marijuana residue,” which probably isn’t going to help Jones’ situation. Good luck, buddy.

Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

Whether getting busted for booze (twice) or fueling pre-marital pregnancy rumors with poor fashion choices, Jenna Bush has always been the headline grabber of President Bush’s two lovely daughters, and last night was no different. As a guest on Larry King Live last night, Jenna came clean and admitted that she will not necessarily vote for John McCain in the fall election, and might instead opt for either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. Whatever with that though, the real news is that apparently those infamous beach photos aren’t actually her…bahh. But hey, its the internet, so we can all just pretend from now on and eventually, everyone will believe its the truth. AH MEMETICS!