Okay, so I can try and pretend that I’m about half as hung over as I am right now and write a brilliant, brief description of A Static lullaby’s music and why you should care about their cover of Britney Spears’ “Toxic” and that they’re on tour with Dance Gavin Dance. But I’m not. I am just too far gone today. Instead I’ve chosen to quote the press release HEAVILY>

From the press release:

The fourth album from A Static Lullaby, “Rattlesnake!” is available for pre order today through Interpunk, Smartpunk, and Merchnow.

A Static Lullaby goes head to head with Britney Spears on the band’s not so bubblegum-pop cover of her hit song, “Toxic”. After the popularity of their cover of Frou Frou’s “Let Go”, A Static Lullaby went back into the studio to give fans an addicting new bonus track. Everyone who pre orders the album before its street date will receive this Britney Spears cover of “Toxic” from A Static Lullaby as an MP3 download the same day.

If you can’t wait until September 9th for the CD, you can listen to the “Rattlesnake!” sampler, now playing on their Myspace page. The sampler plays clips from every track off their upcoming album.

See? That wasn’t’ so tough. More press release and tour dates after the jump.
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This is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. Paris Hilton is hoping to team with other tabloid and paparazzi loved ladies, especially Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. She wants to produce a reality television show so the public can see what life is like in the spotlight. Does anyone really care to watch all these trainwrecks at once? Hell no. Hilton also wants to produce a two-hour special.

“Just imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling — as well as [Denise] Richards, Hilton and her former ‘The Simple Life’ co-star, Nicole Richie — together in one big two-hour special sharing ‘their side’ of what it’s like to be them.
That concept alone reportedly has intrigued a couple of cable channels initially contacted about the concept: Bravo and Lifetime.”

Bad, bad idea. Hilton has to lure them back to the spotlight right after they finally clean it up. This is going to be a crotch-shot mess.

After reading the Anthony Kiedis biography Scar Tissue of his crazy, insane and badass life I found this picture kind of amusing. And no one is freaking out about car seat safety like with Britney Spears? Ha.

I almost forgot she was pregnant BUT Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl, Maddie Briann, this morning. The 17-year-old little sister of nutcase Britney Spears had Maddie in a Mississippi hospital close to her Kentwood, Louisiana home. This family needs some serious birth control ASAP.

Seriously? They couldn’t think of anyone a little more deserving? Guess not because Vegas club Prive will be presenting Britney’s ex with the honor at a blowout private ceremony and party.

Kevin Federline is the father of four kids; 2 with ex Shar Jackson and 2 with ex Britney Spears. Federline is hosting a party at Prive, in the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, where he will be named “Father Of The Year” on June 13th. Any good dad would spend Father’s Day at a Vegas nightclub without their kids, right?

Admittedly, this is a little harsh, even for Maxim. The culture magazine has recently posted its ‘Unsexiest Women Alive’ list, and the results are a little bit shocking. Sex & The City’s Sarah Jessica Parker came in first, and apparently shes not happy about it.

Parker: “Do I have fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men’s magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest woman in the world? Wow! It’s kind of shocking when men… It’s so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger, so it was surprising to me that more people didn’t talk about the providence of it, that it’s coming from these men. [...] It’s condemnation, it’s insane. I guess you can’t please all people. But I played a lot of parts, women that are really interesting and attractive to me. Obviously someone thinks I’m palatable to some degree.”

By fluke chance, it just so happens that this poll and Kristin Davis’ sex pics are surfacing months before the much awaited Sex & The City movie is due out. Is it possible that a film based around shoe shopping and gossip will be the next big viral campaign?

The rest of the top 5 is made up by Britney Spears, Madonna, Sandra Oh, Amy Winehouse.