Here’s a bit of stupid fun for ya. Get yr drink on.

Just signed to Interscope. They can buy me a soda.

So tonight was the same schtick as far as the debating went: angry grandpa John and the unshakable Barack Obama. The real story though was Joe the Fucking Plumber. Dude is a star. Or I guess I should say dudes, because as it turns out, there are quite a few Joes the Plumber (much to the chagrin I’m sure of opportunist URL squatters), all of whom are watching their web track blow the fuck up. PRO TIP: get some google ads on that bitch ASAP Joes, then you really will be voting for McCain because you’ll be stacking CHEDDAR. I hereby present you with Joe the Plumber, and Joe the Plumber, and Joe the Plumber and…you get the picture. This Joe the Plumber is probably my favorite so far: he eh fucks with strippers and talks about getting a machete pulled on him in South Central LA doesn’t afraid of anything.

The modern fan-girl, trendy music scene has become this breeding ground for artists that have zero talent to bitch and moan about how they’re famous for not playing their instruments or cross dressing or whatever Trace Cyrus/ Jeffree Star did to get public recognition. If you haven’t checked out the cat fight yet, click…HERE.

Senses Fail’s very own Buddy has written an open letter to the two little whiners, asking them to stop being little wieners.

Dear Trace Cyrus and Jeffery Star

Hi man and lady, I just wanted to introduce myself to you, man and woman. I am very upset with you two. I have spent a good period of my young life striving to make it in the music business, well not make it but, just have a place where I can express myself. I find that you two seem to take this music scene ( be it punk rock, emo, alternative, whatever you want to call it) for granted. I want you two to resolve your differences because the music world is hanging by a whim and chomping at the bit for you people to resolve the conflict in your relationship. Why is it that you both can’t get along? I mean Trace you guys both choreograph your own dance moves for stage, you guys write music for the sole sake of making money/wanting a celebrity status and you both look like women. Why can’t you too just get along? Jeffery, I am sorry I don’t know much about you, all I know is that you are fond of the word cunt. I hope that you can find it in you to re-open your loving arms to the talent that is Mr. Cyrus, not to be confused with Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus. Im sorry but the two of you make this music scene, something that I have been a part of since I was 14 into a laughable-perezhilton.com-joke. I wish that you guys would just make up, make out and produce some shitty music together, in bed or in the studio, so the world can rest at ease. I wish you both the best of luck and most importantly wish the people writing your music for you the best of luck. I hope this finds you well.

Buddy

p.s. Shake, shake, shha shha shha shha shake it.

Mildly amusing, isn’t it?

I hate Kanye West. Granted, he makes samples great music, but besides that, the guys has to be the most arrogant artist in the world.  After the whole Bonnaroo incident where he basically anally raped the audience by not playing til 4 in the morning, one would think he would shut his mouth tighter than when he get his jaw wired shut.

Mr. West is back at it again, this time writing a horribly emo (and grammatically shitty) blog that asks why people are ‘trying to plot my downfall’. In the letter, written in almost all caps locks, he complains about how horribly hard it is to maintain his job and how his light show ‘cuts my payday in half’. Last time I checked, 50% of damn near 5 million a night is about what most 3rd world countries make over the course of a decade. The blog is too sad for words, so go ahead and read it in full after the jump.

(more…)

Linda Hogan has to be up for bitch of the year right now.  After divorcing ‘Father of the Year‘ (official title, mind you) Hulk Hogan, she grabbed a hot 19-year-old piece of ass for her boy toy.  Then, she throws Hulk’s nuts in a vice, threatening to sue him for not paying her bagillion dollar a month Vegas pad and talks shit about the kid who is brain dead about her son.
Well, Linda is back doing crazy bitch stuff again.  I found an audio recording of a 911 phone call (thanks WWTDD) that she made asking police to protect her from an apparent stalker that she ends up stalking.  You can’t make this shit up.

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: Okay, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

The upcoming show Brooke Hogan Knows Best is slated to hit the airwaves in the somewhat near future, and hopefully we’ll get some more crazy Linda Hogan footage out of that.