My first post-barista job was as a telemarketer raising funds for Bill Clinton, the California Democratic Party, United Farm Workers and the like during the 1996 Presidential Campaign. Yeah, sounds like a good cause, but I later found out the people I was working for were not on the up and up. Ever since then I’ve been reluctant to give political organizations any of my damn money.

Still, presidencies are on not won on the strength of the figureheads, but by money and PR. I want Nader to fuck right off and the McCain/What’sHerName ballot to sink like cement shoes because Obama still hasn’t sold off ALL his ideals and might make a better president than the others. With that in mind, I’m far more likely to write a song and donate it to BarackRock.org.

From the Web site:

BarackRock.org started with one song and a desire for change.
It has grown into a movement of musicians and artists creating an ever-expanding catalogue of free, exclusive songs, each with its own individual art, meant to inspire participation and donations for the Obama Campaign. These are unreleased tracks and demos, only available here and now, so plug in your headphones and make a difference!

Listen to songs, donate money, etc. etc. Change, etc. etc.

Man, he really could’ve been the next Bill Clinton:

John Edwards repeatedly lied during his Presidential campaign about an extramarital affair with a novice filmmaker, the former Senator admitted to ABC News today.

In an interview for broadcast tonight on Nightline, Edwards told ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff he did have an affair with 44-year old Rielle Hunter, but said that he did not love her.

Edwards also denied he was the father of Hunter’s baby girl, Frances Quinn, although the one-time Democratic Presidential candidate said he has not taken a paternity test.

Edwards said he knew he was not the father based on timing of the baby’s birth on February 27, 2008. He said his affair ended too soon for him to have been the father.

A former campaign aide, Andrew Young, has said he was the father of the child.

I’d still vote for him before I’d vote for John McCain, but that’s just because I ain’t a player hater.

Word from the Hillary Clinton camp is that she is going to FINALLY fuck off and back Barack Obama on Saturday. But I think we all know the truth: she is making her play to become his running mate as Vice President.

The country did pretty fucking well while Ol’ Bill Clinton was getting his cock sucked by slightly overweight slags in the Oval Office for 8 years, so having an Obama/Clinton ticket could do pretty well. Not because people want Hillary in the White House, but because they want Barack Obama in the White House and they trust Bill Clinton to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t royally fuck things up.

At the same time, if I were Barack (we are on a first name basis) I would tell Hillary to kiss my ass in the county square for dragging this bull shit out for so long and talking too many people out of voting for me and ask John Edwards or some other safe white dude. Thanks to her, now it’s going to be a huge uphill battle to beat crusty ass Republican John McCain at a time when people should be clamoring to vote for anything with a “D” next to it on election day because George W Bush has been a total slap dick for 8 years straight.

So, thanks for the gesture Hillary, but I have a hard time buying it. You’ve been getting cheated on with multiple partners for most, if not all of your marriage, but liked the power of the office too much to tell Bill to kick rocks like any self respecting woman would have done, and this is no different. Veep is better than nothing!

“Barack!! I didn’t mean all that shit I said about you bro! You know that’s just business. We’re still cool right? ….right?”

While you were looking up Tilda Swinton’s purported love affair with young artist Sandro Kopp…other people were looking up Bill Clinton’s purported love affair with young actress Gina Gershon.

(www.bifa.org.uk)

(bp3.blogger.com)

Great.

There’s a global food crisis that’s affecting hundreds of millions of humans.
Both Zimbabwe and Burma’s governments are not allowing international aid to their war- and natural disaster-ravaged populations.
General Motors is closing plants, and Americans (and Canadians and Mexicans) are losing their jobs.
Sri Lanka is embroiled in civil war and natural disasters.

But by all means continue looking up celebrity gossip.

Humor us with captions!

Click to enlarge Bill’s boredom.