Continuing our coverage of turtles partaking in HILARIOUS Human vices, we bring you TURTLES BOINKING.

Listen to them knock boots, er, shells. And the Noises at the end? Anyone else fighting the urge to excuse yourself and, uh, “take care of business?”

Thanks MusicismyBoyfriend Blog, that shit is tight. TURTLE POWER!

And the world turns…

um….?

From The New Zealand Herald:

A 48-year-old orchard worker has been sentenced to 75 hours community work after calling police to complain he was being raped by a wombat.

Arthur Ross Cradock, of Motueka, called police on February 11 and informed them the rape was taking place at his house and he required assistance, The Nelson Mail reported.

He later called back asking to retract the claim.

“Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know,” he told the operator.

Cradock pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

- NZPA

…..uhhhh? Wait……

From The Telegraph:

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.

“I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all.”

He pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

Judge Richard Russell said he was not sure what had motivated Cradock to make the extraordinary claim.

In sentencing Cradock, he warned him not to do it again.

uh….

First off, WOMBAT RAPE IS NOT FUNNY.