Bagel-fuls

In this world where everyone’s on the go, you may be wondering, “How will I find the time to put cream cheese on my morning bagel?” Kraft’s got your back. Meet the Bagel-ful.

Quite simply, it’s a bagel stick that comes pre-stuffed with a cream cheese filling. Marketing for the product started today, and can be found in your local supermarket’s frozen breakfast aisle. The Bagel-ful Web site claims that this tasty treat can be made ready to eat in under two minutes, and it will come in five flavors:

  1. Original (plain bagel and cream cheese)
  2. Cinnamon (cinnamon bagel with cinnamon and sugar cream cheese)
  3. Whole Grain (whole grain bagel with plain cream cheese)
  4. Strawberry ( plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese)
  5. Chive (plain bagel with chive cream cheese)

These things will last in your refrigerator for a week, but you can store them in your freezer for up to a year. To prepare, nuke that shit in the microwave or just pop in a toaster oven (remember those?). While you may be excited about the news, you’re not as excited as Kraft. They think they’ve stuck gold with this one.

After successful tests at select convenience stores, Kraft was so jazzed about Bagel-fuls prospects that Rick Searer, evp and president of Kraft, told analysts last month that the product would surpass the $100 million mark in sales “within the next few years.”

I wouldn’t be surprised. As sketchy as prepackaged microwave sandwich things may seem, they’re pretty fucking tasty. I got through my first year of grad school with the help of Hot Pockets, and if you haven’t had a peanut butter & jelly Uncrustable, you just don’t know what you’re missing.