Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

So last night Synthesis designer www.RyanWheaton.co.uk hit me up and sent me a link to Cockeyed.com, which is a pretty cool site containing articles of wonderful randomness (Pranks? Naughty food items? 1,000 photos of some grrl named Amber? You got it!). The piece in question was a blog about removable tattoos available at Toys R Us. But not the lovable ladybug / smiley-sun / rainbows-and-pot-of-gold icons I remember from my removable tattoo days. No. Removable Lower back Tattoos. Fucking Tramp Stamps for Kiddies.

Now, I’m no prude. I appreciate it when girls give you a target to aim at and everything, but back tattoos aren’t necessarily the classiest thing. Nothing to get kicked out of bed for, but still… HOWEVER, removable back tattoos for CHILDREN is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard (and this is coming from the guy who references amputee porn in a blog about the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant…). Fucking pop that butterfly pattern over your 3rd grade honor student’s ass, get her ready to spread it around town by Jr. High. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck…CLASSY!

What really fucks me up a little is that the Cockeyed article uses pictures from the Toys R Us at Arden fair Mall in Sacramento - the same place my mom bought my Legos, Nintendo games and GI Joes. The really sad thing is I’m pretty sure my half-sister would squeal “HOW CUTE! GIMME” and immediately plaster it on her 2 year old’s rumpback. Eghad, babies making babies making bad decisions. Thanks Toys R Us, just…thanks.