Only one way to brighten up a rainy day in Chico, CA: babies eating lemons. If that’s too cute for you, then check out Lemon Party… it’s kind of the same thing.

The next Shawn Johnson. Or something

In defiance against both the will of man and God, somehow Jenna Jameson has conceived a child. This is a shocking twist of events in the scientific community, as a team of NASA engineers routinely goes into her uterus and sterilizes with flamethrowers.

She’s apparently pretty stoked on the whole issue, though. From the internetz:

“She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she’s postponed everything,” said our source. “She’s completely thrilled, this is something she’s wanted for a very long time.” Jameson miscarried during her marriage to Jay Grdina, whom she divorced in 2006. She also once failed with in vitro.

Her boyfriend, UFC badass Tito Ortitz, is probably someone that would take offense to internet goons bashing his girlfriend and baby, so in the spirit of goodwill, CONGRATULATIONS!

Congrats to sex icon and worst actor ever (minus Keanu Reeves) Matthew McConaughey, who welcomed his new baby boy into the world yesterday along with his sexy ass Brazilian girlfriend, Camila Alves.  Let’s face the facts: he’s hot, she’s hot, this baby is either going to be stunning… either that or it’ll be hidious due to the fact he has way too many pretty genes in him.  Here’s so fun facts about McConaughey I learned while I did  my extensive research on the subject:

*Matt was in Angel’s In The Outfield but I can’t recall what role he was.

*Since Angel’s In The Outfield, he hasn’t been in a single good flick.

*He’s fucking ripped, on the beach and smokes pot.

*He likes high school girls, because he gets older, and they stay the same age.

(from www.rushisaband.com)

When I was stuck in Olympia WA last week, the saving grace of our stay was our gracious host Kirk Leonnard and his girlfriend Amy, and their guest room devoted to their Xbox 360, and more specifically, Rock Band. It was there that Kirty South and I found solace, singing and plucking our depression away to the likes of the Beastie Boys, The Marshall Tucker Band and Black Sabbath. We also discussed woman-repellent music including Canadian arena rock champions, Rush. Oh! If only we had access to the tracks that will be made available tomorrow. We would have driven poor Amy completely bonkers.

From B|W|R Public Relations:

Harmonix and MTV Games announced today additional Rush tracks will be available at the Rock Band™ Music Store catalog of downloadable content. On July 8th, air drummers and guitarists will rejoice when direct from the Rush Masters Vault the exclusive Rock Band versions of “Closer To The Heart” and “Working Man (Vault Edition)” (featuring never released alternative guitar solo) are made available for $1.99 per track (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE® Marketplace for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft). Rush now have 5 songs available for Rock Band including cover versions of “Tom Sawyer,” “Limelight” and “Working Man,” almost a full-set by prog rock standards!

Also available are two amazing tracks from six-time Grammy® winning, multi-platinum funk rockers Red Hot Chili Peppers. “Snow ((Hey Oh))” and “Tell Me Baby” from their critically acclaimed ninth studio double album Stadium Arcadium will be available for $1.99 per track (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE Marketplace).

Release date: Tuesday, July 8, 2008 (Xbox LIVE Marketplace)
Thursday, July 10, 2008 (PLAYSTATION®Store)

Tracks:
From the RUSH Masters Vault:
“Closer To The Heart”
” Man (Vault Edition)”

Hot Chili Peppers
” ((Hey Oh))”
“Tell Me Baby”

(All tracks utilize the original master recordings)

Price: 1.99 (160 Microsoft Points for Xbox LIVE Marketplace) per track
Locations: LIVE Marketplace and PLAYSTATION®Network

** Dates for Rock Band game tracks are tentative and subject to change **

Remember that Oregon couple who was trying to have a baby? The husband was going through a sex change operation to become a man but kept his lady parts so they could have a kid first. The preggers man, Thomas Beatie, gave birth today. The pregnant man’s baby girl was healthy and happy. CRAZY!! Here’s some pictures of him a week before giving birth: