Four words: Vern Troyer sex tape. MINI-ME having sex.. with a woman?! It’s just one of those things you don’t want to watch but kind of have to because it’s creepily fascinating. How does that even work? I don’t know, just watch it for yourself BUT BE WARNED or maybe just open one eye. ICK!

Remember when he pissed himself in his motorized scooter on Surreal Life? Things aren’t looking up for him, ha.

Like many comedians, Mike Myers has had some career ups and downs. Sure Wayne’s World, So I Married an Ax Murderer and the first Austin Powers movies cannot be touched, but I wasn’t sold on the rest of the Powers franchise, and Shrek always kinda bugged the bejesus out of me. Until I see if for myself I will reserve judgment on his new feature film, The Love Guru (in theaters 6/20).

The plot follows Pitka (Myers), an American baby left at an Indian Ashram doorstep and raised by mystics, and his rise to fame and fortune as a self-help guru. His newest mission is to reunite a black hockey player (I know, HA-HA) with his estranged wife so that he can win the Stanley Cup…or something like that. I don’t know, I kinda spaced out half-way through the second Rehashed Austin Powers joke. Oh yeah, shoot, I’m supposed to be reserving my judgment…

In the plus side, there are a few Hindu Spiritual Leaders already up in arms about the film, namely Rajan Zed who read the first Hindu Prayer in the US Senate in 2007. But I actually take the upsetting of fundamentalists to be a good sign for the movie. Comedy should be swatting the bee hive a little bit. In comedic terms, “safe” is another way of saying “shite.”

Anyway, here’s the trailer:

I’m glad Cornershop is making some sync rights money from the movie. Their “When I Was Born For the Seventh Time” album was way fun back in the day.