A completely wasted Andy Dick attempted to check into the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas this weekend. He was sloppy to say the least and his clothes were all wet. Dick started a scene in the hotel lobby when he brought his pit bull with him who bit a hotel guest. The Hard Rock kicked him to the curb after the incident but he probably doesn’t remember. This isn’t the first time he has been asked to leave somewhere. He recently wasn’t let into the Skybar and threw a fit and attempted to sneak in. He’s a mess. Should he be added to Dr. Drew’s list of celebrity rehab-ers??

After suffering a “mild” heart attack, American actor Kelsey Grammer is recovering in an undisclosed hospital in Hawaii. Grammer, most beloved for his recurring role as Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons television show (and, you know, that whole Cheers and Frasier thing that never really took off…), aged 53, owns property on the island of Kona with his wife Camille. According to AP, Grammer’s spokesman says the television and film star suffered a mild heart attack while paddle boarding on Saturday and will be released early this week, adding “there’s no reason to be blue.”

sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.

In Royal Palm Beach, Flordia a 70-year-old Wal Mart employee got pissed and beat the shit out of an 81-year-old Wal Mart employee with a price gun. Maybe they were fighting over the price of gas or the wonderful health care that Wal-Mart provides its’ employees.

From AP:

An arrest report say a 70-year-old man attacked an 81-year-old man with a pricing gun inside a Wal-Mart. The report says Dennis O’Brien and John Esposito began arguing Sunday and O’Brien swung at Esposito with the tool in his right hand.

Authorities say Esposito suffered a swollen left eye and cuts on his nose and mouth. Esposito said both he and O’Brien worked at Wal-Mart. He would not discuss the nature of their argument. The report says O’Brien told a sheriff’s deputy he acted in self-defense, but security tape showed O’Brien raising his hand first, striking Esposito in the face and then pushing him to the ground. Officials booked O’Brien into the Palm Beach County Jail on aggravated battery charges.

Nice.

A Georgia elementary school teacher was in for a surprise last Friday when 8-9 of her students, both boys and girls, planned to bind and stab her after being angered over the scolding of a fellow student for standing on a chair. The extent of the students’ planning and premeditated preparation is astonishing:

Police Chief Tony Tanner said the students apparently planned to knock the teacher unconscious with a glass paperweight, bind her with handcuffs and duct tape and then stab her with a broken steak knife.

The scheme involved a division of roles, Tanner said. One child’s job was to cover windows so no one could see outside, and another was supposed to clean up after the attack. Associated Press

It’s not clear how many of the students really knew of the intent to harm the teacher as some said they simply thought it was a joke. Nevertheless two students were arrested on juvenile charges, and a third arrest is expected. In the end the no one was harmed, but things could have been worse. Even if the students hadn’t intended to kill their teacher, who can really say how it all would’ve turned out. One thing’s for sure though, stories like this aren’t really going help fulfill any shortage of teachers in the US. Molding young minds seems to be more dangerous than ever.

-Handcuffs and Knife the children planned to use.

It was reported last night that Randy Rhodes, the guitarist widely thought responsible for re-launching Ozzy Osbourne’s post-Black Sabbath musical career, was attacked in New York city near 39th Street and Park Avenue. In addition to his noted career as a heavy metal guitar virtuoso, Rhodes, who died in a plane crash in 1982, was an avid classical guitarist….

It was reported last night that Randi Rhodes, talk show host on progressive radio station Air America, was attacked in New York city near 39th Street and Park Avenue while walking her dog…

Damn, blog-journalism is hard. Looks like Randi Rhodes’ “attack” has been reduced to an “accident,” according to a post on Air America’s web site:

October 16-NEW YORK-On Sunday evening, October 14, Air America host Randi Rhodes experienced an unfortunate incident hindering her from hosting her show. The reports of a presumed hate crime are unfounded. Ms. Rhodes looks forward to being back on the air on Thursday.

…and of course, a Wikipedia post (which is ALWAYS A TOTALLY RELIABLE AND FACTUAL RESOURCE…)

On Sunday, October 14, 2007, Rhodes was walking her dog when she fell and sustained injuries that kept her off the air for several days. Air America host Jon Elliott erroneously claimed on his October 15 show that Rhodes had been the victim of a savage mugging. Elliott went on to speculate that this was not just a random event, but that it may have been politically motivated. [1] A lawyer for Rhodes subsequently confirmed that the incident was an accident and no crime had taken place. [2]

Now I don’t know what to believe… I’ve resorted to assuming this whole thing is just propaganda; a liberal plot to gain sympathy from weak minded fence-sitters in middle America… Hell with it, I’m just gonna find my Randy Rhodes Tribute cassette and tune the fuck out…